Yeah. I primarily work with 5-12 year olds in education. I'm the only bloke in my work cohort. You work with kids yourself right? Do you also think that the boys are picking up relatively traditional norms - in the playground - at the same time as being demanded to follow other ones -in the classroom-? I think it's a great thing that all the kids I'm aware of are getting eg courses on self expression and emotion language, but the boys still can't use it without stigma. There also still seems to be that element of casual violence among the working class boys, which is still socially rewarded. — fdrake
Hi fdrake,
Sorry it took me a couple of days to reply.
I do (did) work with high school kids. There are more male adults in HS generally, mostly teachers - your PE teachers, tech, sometimes math and science. I teach English and Social Sciences, and those departments are heavily female. I did some coaching too, likely the environment in which I saw the most 'unguarded' or natural kid-behaviour, but to be honest, I saw more 'teen' behaviour than specifically gendered behaviour.
I guess where I saw gendered behaviour most was in the classroom, in what they were interested in / engaged by. High school kids have more options to pursue their own interests, but everybody has to take English every year, for example, and some of the boys have a less-favourable view of reading.
But reading - what we call literature - is as gendered as anything. Boys, for the entirety of my career, and per the literature I've seen, have been more likely to enjoy 'informational' or 'task-oriented' reading, which we often describe as 'not literature', whereas 'literature' - fiction - requires empathizing, provides no clear, tangible benefits (now I know how to ...) - things that girls are better at than boys
This isn't socialized behaviour I'm talking about, this is more evolutionary biology, and I know that discipline offends some people who feel that it delegitimizes their sense of agency, but that to me is misunderstanding the social sciences. On the aggregate, yes, there are behaviours that are more typical of boys - running around, taking risks, needing to move, requiring concrete reasons, and of girls - empathy, social intelligence, and so on.
I mean, just look at a class of grade 9s. Many of the girls appear to be young women, and most of the boys remain boys. Do you notice this at any point with your cohort?
So what we call 'gendered' behaviour is often not - it's natural behaviour, in an environment better suited to female success than male.
Even the 'emotion language' topic is 'feminized' or 'gendered' female, even though that's not a thing this subject addresses - we are only concerned with gendered 'male' behaviour, since 'maleness' is the problem, per the consensus. The entire project seems to be making the boys more like girls.
Not to mention the whole 'Bad Therapy' argument, Abigail Shrier's book, condemning the therapy culture that permeates our children's lives and which may be actually causing the spikes in youth mental health.
In other words, talking about your emotions all the time leads to hypersensitivity, rumination, etc.
All of this is generalization - there are definitely kids who benefit from emotional literacy, girls who can't sit still and boys who love Jane Austen.
I imagine it might be actually harder for boys your student's age to express emotions? By the time I was getting them, it seemed to have been relatively normalized.
Even in terms of student violence, I don't see a major distinction in terms of gender, which is alarming. Yes, social class is an indicator, but there was a distinct, female style of violent conflict. As for raw numbers, I don't know anything recently, and its definitely still more 'male' behaviour, but it feels like the girls are closing the gap.
How do these thoughts relate to your experiences with the younger students, and in a different country?
My assumption is that the WEIRD countries all have some sort of ideological capture of educational institutions. Here in Toronto, I work(ed) for what I jokingly started describing as the wokest institution in the world, the Toronto District School Board. I might be right in that joke.
Do you, as a guy, feel any differently from your colleagues on any of these subjects? Do you feel empowered to offer opinions or to disagree with orthodoxy? And did you catch that series, "Adolescence"? It seems of the gestalt that we are discussing here, and I thought it pretty good, certainly better than a lot of the hot takes it's generated in the 'press'.
Sorry for the long post, I was so engaged reading 'Bad Therapy' I had a lot of thoughts!