Tolerance - what is it? Where do we stop? But it's not going to stop him! That's the whole point. It might get both our heads kicked in as his resentment transfers itself to me for lecturing him from my ivory tower but it won't change a damn thing in his mindset. If the law won't stop him what makes you think that anything less has a hope in hell?
You've pretty much encapsulated everything that's wrong with the 'tolerance movement' today. As if it is possible to scold people into abandoning their mindset or make them better like some kind of missionary sent from God (or Queen Victoria - it's hard to tell the difference sometimes).
And what if we persuade him to be tolerant, to put up with it? Do you really think that's a long term solution, that there won't be more and more resentment building up as compromises are made day after day and he is forced to deny his true feelings? That's a recipe for powder kegs that are bound to explode with far worse consequences for everybody. That's what causes riots, fascist rallies and ultimately wars.
So no. The last thing I'm going to be doing is going around telling people to play let's pretend. Let's pretend that you're not unhappy, afraid, fuming. Let's pretend that you can just 'snap out of it' like a good little soldier. Let's pretend that avoiding problems and confrontations and misunderstandings and practising our stiff upper lip is a healthy way to live. Because that's what tolerance is!
In the five steps of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, tolerance is all of the first four and never the last. Regrettably pretty much every social reform movement that ever existed, none more so than the pc and professionally offended brigades of this age, has that totally arse about face. Which brings us back to your judgey, preachy 'despair' rather neatly. All you see in my original post is far from all that is there but you simply can't (or more likely won't) see further than the contradiction of the current dogma. Oh, the heresy!
A long, long time ago (and here's my despair) a black community leader in Bristol, just after a series of riots there, said that race would cease to be a problem in the UK when everybody finally stopped treating it as a problem. Those of us who understand what he meant have grown tired of waiting for it to happen knowing that counselling (let's face it, it's really attempting to coerce) tolerance is just another way of continuing to treat it as a problem.