I don't really want to talk about the person who wrote this. I just wanted your view of the idea expressed. — frank

Fair enough. You have provided enough information for me to express my opinion, just understand there are factors that are at play such as how old is the relationship, has there been previous out bursts of anger that have not been addressed and what is the overall health of the relationship. After 50 yrs of knowing someone you know the good and the bad and all of us have both, good and bad in us.

If a woman is afraid of her husband, doesn't that usually mean there is either physical or psychological violence on the scene? — frank

Not necessarily. I for one am fearful of men because I have witnessed abuse of my Mom by a step father and even though I have done years (2.5 yrs to be precise) of one on one therapy to figure out what the fuck happened. It is because of my history that I am fearful, not the situation I am currently in. Although when things get heated and I keep pushing, I worry he will push back so I don't get physical.

For anyone else? A man raises his hand ONCE to you and you should be gone. For me I know the level of anger that can be reached within my partner before he will get physical. So logically, I then know where the line is that I would need to cross for him to respond physically and know not to cross it. Does that make me fearful of men? Does that make me fearful of my husband? And if I should be fearful, what if I am not? Am I being blind? Do I need an intervention because one day he might get physical? After being married almost 25 yrs, it would have been a waste and maybe a deal breaker so I am glad I am trusting of his knowing where my line is as well. However, being a woman, I made the line verbally clear as to what it would take for me to get physical, if I would at all or if I would more than likely calmly walk away from him and the drama he was seeking/struggling with.

Women aren't just typically afraid of men, are they? — frank

For the most part I would say deep inside, being brutally honest here, that yes many women are afraid of letting a man into her inner self.

B. — Hanover

Wow no way.

I wonder if you could clarify something. One of the posters in this thread revealed that his wife is afraid of him and that he finds it to be common that women feel that way. My response to that is astonishment that anyone would think that it's normal for a wife to be afraid of her husband.

Do you agree with the poster I mentioned, or me? — frank

Can you link me back to the context it was said in?

No that's not normal. It's fucked up. — Hanover

I agree with you that fearing your spouse is fucked up but I cannot say that it is "not" normal. I can say it is not "healthy" nor would I expect much positive to come from such a relationship but I cannot say that it is uncommon because it isn't. Especially if you examine the finer details and the inner workings of "Games People Play" I think you might find fearing your partner more common than you realize.

My ankle is driving me crazy. There is talk of putting me on crutches and some kind of cast... :fear: — Lone Wolf

Rut roo. Are you giving it time to heal?

I'm pretty sure that the target has to respond in a certain way to make themselves a tempting victim for continued psychological assault. — fdrake

I missed this but it does deserve highlight. Anyone who is a victim of any kind of abuse is only a 'victim' until they realize they are being abused. It is at that very moment, that instant in time, that the person being abused, can choose to become a'survivor' and begin to work their way out of the toxic relationship, until successfully discontinuing all interaction with them. Or in that same instant, that person who was a 'victim' can chose to become an 'enabler' by letting the abuse continue in any form.

I feel that what you say is something that you want to say to yourself. — TimeLine

I can see how you would feel that way Timeline. Ironically, I see it more as a future self trying to advise a current self.

He's as capable as any of us are. It's all about finding the right person. My bigger point is that whatever his problems, they are his, and not his ex's to worry about. He'll be fine, or not, but let it go. — Hanover

I agree with you that they are his problems, no one else's but that goes for all of us. Frankly, when I dissect a relationship that has not ended the way in which I wanted it to, I focus on if I want to change the way I approach it next time. Sometimes I need to change, other times it is their work to do.

It's almost as if the Secret Service knows that it's dangerous for the average citizen to possess a gun. — Michael

It is similar to the idea that if everyone has a gun, those who arrive in an authoritative role will have difficulty in knowing who the aggressor is. It almost happened to armed bystander, the "good guy with the gun" when Representative Gabby Giffords was shot in Tucson, AZ.

The new poster boy for this agenda is Joe Zamudio, a hero in the Tucson incident. Zamudio was in a nearby drug store when the shooting began, and he was armed. He ran to the scene and helped subdue the killer. Television interviewers are celebrating his courage, and pro-gun blogs are touting his equipment. "Bystander Says Carrying Gun Prompted Him to Help," says the headline in the Wall Street Journal.

But before we embrace Zamudio's brave intervention as proof of the value of being armed, let's hear the whole story. "I came out of that store, I clicked the safety off, and I was ready," he explained on Fox and Friends. "I had my hand on my gun. I had it in my jacket pocket here. And I came around the corner like this." Zamudio demonstrated how his shooting hand was wrapped around the weapon, poised to draw and fire. As he rounded the corner, he saw a man holding a gun. "And that's who I at first thought was the shooter," Zamudio recalled. "I told him to 'Drop it, drop it!' "

But the man with the gun wasn't the shooter. He had wrested the gun away from the shooter. "Had you shot that guy, it would have been a big, fat mess,"

It happens and even properly trained firearm users can and do make mistakes.

I suppose we could be witnessing an attempt to obtain therapy to eliminate prior negative patterns, but it looks like heartache and pining to me, not resolved by analysis and obsessing, but by finding someone new. — Hanover

Possibly, but there is only one heart that knows that for sure and as the heart heals, so we grow.
We grow to take a chance on another dude who presents himself as the stable, well mannered mature man who does not allow a fur ball to run his life and has a cool new antique clock.

The reality is that the antagonist in our story is better positioned for future happiness because he lacks the emotional baggage. — Hanover

Reread that sentence. Do you really think a guy with his attitude is going to achieve happiness that lasts forever after?

Choice is the resolution of conflict. — unenlightened

Ah ha! :up:

Commit to dedicating as much of your day thinking about and ruminating about and writing about him as he does you. Zero. — Hanover

Dare I say that sometimes reviewing our past relationships and figuring out the reason they failed (which always takes two as the relationship starts with two and ends with two) educates and highlights the reasons why for us, so we are not doomed to repeat them.

I have witnessed one woman, marrying three men, all of which if you set up a profile on are all the same. The only difference is their names and faces.

Respect is given for achievement of some sort, you don't get respect just for existing. — gurugeorge

My youngest son came home from his first semester at college saying: Courtesy given, respect earned. Which is a refined version of what I taught by example which was to always be courteous but implied respect (ie: Dr, Professor etc.) has to be earned. Now I will give the title of respect on first meeting, since I know the level of dedication to achieving the degree and title but their actions determine if I continue to use that title. I think my jaded approach came from being instructed to call my Mom's new husband "Dad" when I already had a Dad. As a child it angered me that I was expected me to call someone by their Title when they had done nothing to warrant it.

As far as tolerance? I have yet to embrace the idea. I am either on or off, people either love me or they hate me, there is little in-between so to speak and that is okay with me.

Imagine sitting outside all snug with a hot drink, talking about endless somethings that make you feel good, later checking out the stars with your Saxon 8 inch. I'm so sad today. — TimeLine

I can only imagine as I am in desperate need for a mental get away. :shade:

Okay here is a question for you:
A year in jail or a year with your ex?

A cabin just outside of Prescott within our price range to purchase (not necessarily to maintain), is zoned for a B&B and a student rental but does not have the connectivity that NicK needs to run our business.
Some one bought either a money pit or a money maker, it will be interesting to see what the new owners do with it.

The wallpaper, wooden chairs, cool kitschy shelf, true Americana. — Hanover

True but ack.

Here is my dream home- a studio small enough but has everything.

@Sir2u
Would this work on the dome home walls?

@MetaphysicsNow
Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
Enjoy your stay~

@tiffany
Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
We are glad you are here~

Paid with dog biscuits. — Lone Wolf

@Hanover Paid with a boner? :rofl:

Oh stop your touchy feely talk and tell me how much you like my new clock. Pretty sweet, huh? — Hanover

I am a really light sleeper so anything that makes a timed ticking drives me crazy, fortunately I learned it early on by stopping the hands and by default the weights of an Antique clock my Step Dad has and got very angry every time I stopped it. So I know that a clock like yours or his and me just don't get along.
Now show me a Cuckoo Clock with the little dancing ladies and gentlemen? I might woo a little.

@csalisbury A portion of your reply has been posted on The Philosophy Forum Facebook page. Congratulations and Thank you for your contribution~

I'm walking in unfamiliar territory. — T Clark

From where I stand, this is a beautiful thing to read, from a beautiful soul I am just getting to know.

@iolo
Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!

Fred ate my internet and he now knows everything. — Hanover

Does Fred know he is getting the bill? :lol:

I think women underestimate how much men are afraid of them, of their scorn. — T Clark

@Hanover seems a page of the "How to handle a Woman" Playbook fell out! :love:

Have compassion. — TimeLine

No. :angry: Compassion ran out 72 hrs ago.

So, I am on the hunt for a new dog! — TimeLine

Don't do it. They will keep you up for days on end. :groan:

I'm thinking Golden Retriever — TimeLine

They are just as 'doggy'. :shade:

They are my favourite. — TimeLine

Sleep. Sleep is my minimum, a favorite at times but is not around now. :yawn:

I hope he's alright. — TheMadFool

Me too. Me too.

180 Proof's page. — TheMadFool

How very ironic as I was just looking at his page yesterday. The poll of music preferences is what brought him to mind. I wonder where he is in the Valley of the Surface of the Sun, as well as on the Internet.

@Codger
Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
Enjoy your stay~

I cannot believe that my male rottie has been whining and drooling all over himself for 48 hours straight. He HAS to sleep sometime, I DO! :yawn:

Lol. I got to work extra on the one job. Lucky me. :meh: — Lone Wolf

I will trade you. I have a Rottie in season with two unfixed males at the ranch. I literally cannot turn my back to shut the door while rotating them from location to location before he is attempting fornication. I haven't slept in days and my wick is more than frayed........help meeeeeeeeeeeee

I don't want to go to work today... — Lone Wolf

Dear Boss:
Lone Wolf is in need of a personal day, a perk day, a mental day, call it what you will but she needs it and will return to work as soon as she is rested.
Thank you in advance for your understanding~
Dr. Feel Better

Napalm Death. — Baden

Who? :death:

I am a Blues Baby!
B.B. King and Buddy Guy were/are on my "Hall Pass" list.
My first concert was opening with John Hiatt followed by Buddy Guy and then the King. Good God almighty, it was a 5 hour eargasm that lasted for 6 months.

@Fool
Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
We are glad you are here!

@ProcastinationTomorrow
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The challenge is to see the common among them. And are you one, or a seventh? — tim wood

I do believe I am a two. :wink: Married to a 6 or 7.
Opposites attract right?

Wait a sec: when a dude's been being studied by scholars for a thousand years or two, he might be wrong, but he's obviously not obviously wrong, right? — unenlightened

Right! :lol:

In Color - Jamey Johnson
In Color