Ehhh. I'm still here. Am discovering that if you just eat rice and sometimes skip 2 meals a day, you start fainting and get really weak. So that was something that everyone knew. After three months of being unemployed because of a surgery, life starts falling apart more than before. Ehhh. Someday, if I don't die first, I shall figure out this thing called living! :victory: — Waya

No fainting! Are you on your own or with the elders?
Oh and when you figure out this thing called living, write a book on how because you will make millions! :100:

Are you doing alright Tiff? Hope everything is OK.

I have only been managing to come by for a few minutes at a time, busy fixing stuff around the house. — Sir2u

On vacation again are you? :lol: That Honey Do List keeps you busy!
I am doing alright Sir, I have been in a dark place of late but I am pulling up so prepare yourself :strong:
A year ago tomorrow I lost my Dad and I am having a hard time compartmentalizing the loss and my Sister is playing games with me the same way she did my Dad. My Dad's will directed me to take his ashes which I want. But last year, as the remaining siblings were together, I offered her to have my Dad's ashes buried with her Mom to bring peace to her life. I asked throughout this past year when I should make plans for the burial and she had been busy with her exciting life but promised me that after August she would be MORE than capable of handling the arrangements with attitude.
Now, do I wait until I travel in and bring my Dad back here or do I pull rank and demand her get her shit together and prioritize my Dad's final resting place and risk her never interacting with me again and more family to pass that I will see her at again? Do I not say anything and let the resentment grow? Our Dad was not only hers and others have the right to visit his grave site as well. Or do I just walk away from the drama and what she chooses to do with my Dad and never speak again?
I am so very angry at her about this. The first line of his Will is that he is knowingly excluding her from any and all parts of the will. She withheld her kids from seeing my Dad, their Grampa because she knew it would hurt him. She lived 5 minutes away from his house and then the nursing home he lived out the last three years of his life and wouldn't visit or call. My Dad waited for her, he hung on her every word in the living and she blew him off. She said he orphaned her when he remarried....it's just not okay to be in her house instead of with her Mom.
I had a long conversation with him and asked if you had your choice on who to spend eternity with who would it be? My Mother, her Mother or his third wife and he said my sister's Mom, hence why I am willing to bury him with her Mom.
My Uncle who I love so incredibly much has continued to visit the nursing home my Dad was at, three times a week to visit with my Dad's ole nursing home commrades. I haven't told him that Dad is not here with me but back home where he could visit once my Dad is laid to rest next to the rest of the family, Grands and Great Grands.
Thoughts?
Sorry for the unload, I hope I am not burdening you :flower:

I had a hard time getting past the title of this thread without calling bs. After reading the OP I thought it might be worth mentioning that on average 19% of adult Americans are dealing with a mental illness. Additionally this article suggests 37% of "gender minority" suffer from a mental illness. The only group with a higher % of mental illness is our Veterans.
What is concerning to me is the astronomical rate of suicide contemplation for both Veterans and those who are in the gender minority.
I just don't know if there is a way to distinguish between the mental illness resulting from combat, something we choose to put ourselves at increased risk for and a mental illness resulting from something that we do not choose such as ones gender.

Can we try not to harass posters who want to leave? Seeing as we don't know what their personal situation is an' all. Thank you. — Baden

Well said Baden Thank you :up:

Sounds like my kind of place. — jamalrob

You let me know when you are headed West and I can send you places that you will never want to leave. :flower:

I hope you, my chosen family, know that I love you and cannot Thank you enough for being in my life ❤️❤️❤️

Sounds interesting, I shall pass this on to my buddies at the CIA, they love this kind of info. — Sir2u

Unsupported, unverified, he said she said?
Send it up and we are ON it! :chin:

Tastes great to me. I use it a lot. I call it cilantro these days, to avoid confusion with the seed. — jamalrob

I love Cilantro now but I haven't always. Living in the desert Southwest Cilantro is very popular and used right it is amazing :up:

Not kosher. — Wallows

Maybe not Kosher but absolutely true :blush:

What I can say is that I find music very comforting, so to those expectant mothers who have wondered whether playing music near your expanded belly has any fetal benefit, I can respond with a resounding YES! — Hanover

I knew it!
Look what happened when Daddy insisted on playing Pink Floyd, The Doors and Zeppelin!
I tried in earnest to counteract that noise with The Eagles, B.B. King and the Grateful Dead and well....you can see the mix :cool:

If my words did glow with the Gold of sunshine and my tunes were played on the Harp unstrung
Would you hear my voice, come through the music.....

Ah, but is it really? — Banno

Is breathing real? Yes.
Is the love between us real? Yes.
Are we our choosen family? Yes.
:heart: :heart: :heart:

Breathe out, breathe in. The bad habit which brought me back now is the same one that drove me away then: breathing ... — 180 Proof

180 Welcome home. Like a lot of things in life, we don't know what we have until it is gone.
I have grown to appreciate your thoughts more than you realize and I Thank you for all the perspectives you have offered.
:heart:

I am grateful to be alive :heart:

@Waya
How is life treating you these days?

Ask me anyone's age and I can guess within mmmmmeh 5yrs of their true age. :sweat:
I am Forty fucking nine, Thank you kindly :heart:

The computer doesn't automatically remove all double spaces because this reformatting is required to make the words fit within the margins. Come on Hanover, get real. — Metaphysician Undercover

Hmmm.. I distinctly remember having to reinsert an extra space after I completed the sentence and asked about a double space no longer being necessary and was told that was an outdated idea.
Now having said that: there is absolutely a setting on your margins that will increase the length of characters and spaces contained within a specified field to meet the perimeters. Word wrap is a common one that is used that I believe performs a similar but KISS application.

And my dad could beat your dad at tiddlywinks! Even if your dad has a bigger moustache! — unenlightened

Interesting twist on a "Your Momma Joke"! I like it un, I like it! :party:

Edit: The software automatically edits out the extra space, so you'll have to use your imagination, or I can come over to your house and show you with a pen and paper. — Hanover

Here's the pen.... :chin: it's still 112* here, you know that right?

Don't you keep yourself logged in? How dare you log out! — Baden

Busted! :joke:
Could you please pass the popcorn I can't chew nor is it on my menu of noncarb food. :rofl: it's still fun to throw at @Hanover

They're watching, popcorn in hand. — S

I am not a moderator nor can I eat popcorn BUT I was enjoying following this thread without having to log in. It's not like putting it in the lounge isn't far enough off the main page but now putting it in a speak easy?

Yes, of course. But my aim here is to minimise or stop violence. Inciting it via hate speech goes directly against this aim, so I oppose it. — Pattern-chaser

Words only have the impact that you allow them to have on you. Only YOU are in control of what you say and I am the only one that can control my response, neither of us can do anything more about any one else's choice.

No amount of extreral pressure to silence a voice seeking to be heard will last indefinitely.
In my experience, violence (nonverbal communication) comes from people feeling like their concerns are not being validated and their voices not heard. Telling me that I cannot express how I feel is quite infuriating to me. How does someone telling you what you can and cannot say feel to you?

Not allowing personal expression of feeling's for the sake of keeping the masses settled sounds rather controlling. Who decided what "hate speech" is in the UK? What is the plan for the evolution of speech and how words are deemed as hateful?

I imagine you support the (sometime) consequences too? Rape, queer-bashing, black-lynching, Jew-bashing — Pattern-chaser

Pattern Chaser, I really hope that you do not believe that just because a person that is in favor of free speech, that they are by default a person who believes in acts of violence. If you do than please let me know because in most cases you are mistaken. I may not like what a neo Nazi has to say but I won't stop him from saying it. I will also express my opinions to him and do expect the same respect to my voice.
The use of words can get messy and someone said that the pen is mighter than the first. Stifling people's verbal expression only leads to those feeling oppressed to act out nonverbally.
I am not sure about you but I much prefer verbal communication over nonverbal, at least when we are talking about angry/hate speech.

against all expectations, Scaramucci says something true'. :lol: — Wayfarer

Although my maiden last name is pretty awesome it doesn't keep me from being green with envy of someone with the last name of "Scaramucci"! I can spell his last name with hand motions only! Love it :love:

Hate speech must die. — StreetlightX

Could you please say such comments a little less bluntly? :joke:

The protesters are doomed. They have no allies. — frank

Frank, if you could hold your breath a little longer in predicting the final outcome of these protestors, I would appreciate it.
Though support might be scattered globally, I can tell you that these young people in Hong Kong are being watched by the young people around me here and not just in a supportive role of "their" desire for freedom, though that is where my energies lay but rather a possible playbook for their own future.
"We" the generations older than 30, are being watched by our children, many of us who believe in standing up for our flag because of indoctrination or genuine understanding and appreciation of the benefits of living in the United States, under our Constitution.
But that is where there is a growing divide, one that the politicians here are all too eager to exploit for their own personal benefit. Many people of college age do not believe in doing things the same way simply for the sake of stability but are looking to try and shape their future in the framing that appeals to them. And that future can and does look very different from the current reality we interact in and with whom. The protesters in Hong Kong have young backers here in the USA which is a concept that I just didn't have awareness of at the young age they do.
I must say my heart was touched to see the stars and stripes being raised in the name of freedom in the Hong Kong airport.

what would you do when you have no money to pay an expert to sweep away all the bugs and cameras in your home and everyone online hardly believe what you are claiming is happening to you? — jorgealarcon

If it were me? After writing down a month of experiences in living this person's life, I would send the manuscript off to @Baden for a proofreading before finding a publishing company. If it was a real situation I would keep my Rotties by my side.

I'd say that makes you a more introspective and honest person than the majority of humans. It's a good thing. Go with it and cultivate that. In the long run, you'll have more refined and interesting ideas to show for it. Just make sure it doesn't become debilitating.

@NKBJ
Editor: I am not sure how to get a -name link at the end of the quote. I might be rusty!

Anyone out there want to get a discussion going on the subject of posted naked selfies on the internet and weather it takes guts or is it still considered stupid. — funcouple

I have a very small contribution to your thread but my example of why not to post nude pictures on the internet is: Anthony Wiener.
Enuff said.

Back in black!
Lolol I know total Mom joke! :joke:

@Hanover You have touched my heart and are actually restoring faith in my self value. I cannot Thank you enough :heart: I lost my way...thank you and everyone else for taking the time to find me.

Tiff needs a cheerleader! — Wallows

I admit I do Wallows, I just didn't realize that I was missed here and I am sorry if I let you or anyone else down in thinking that. :flower:

I am truly overwhelmed with the level of concern about me and my welfare and I humbly Thank you. I know we are all friends, many of us for over a decade, but I am the one who is supposed to be the strong one. I am the one who set the expectation upon myself, to only share if I have a positive perspective, which I have been running short on as of late.
I wish to be the strong one all the time, the one who can continue to care beyond the words on the screen but I admit my reserves are running low and that makes me wonder/doubt my being able to handle my choice in college degrees as I enter my Jr year. I have time for a career but a degree change? I don't think so. I just need to find my footing.
If anyone ever wondered what change in life looks like? I am pretty sure I am in the middle of the storm but I haven't stopped walking.

ok who taught him the word "obliteration"? — frank

How many times has the man been divorced? I am pretty sure he learned it from that experience. :razz:

:flower: I am here just lurking around looking for a place to fit in :heart:

Consider the zero tolerance policy that led to separating parents from children. Trump thought this would be a deterrent and ignored the morality (and associated public backlash) and the stress this would place on the immigration courts. Lessons learned: morality should be considered and given priority; consider the consequences of planned actions and plan for dealing with those consequences. — Relativist

I watched it happen, supported the law being enforced and since listened and heard from many here on the forum and agree that it's consequences were inhumane.

Consider Trump's rhetoric and the possibility that this contributed to a rush to the anticipated soon-to-be-closed border. Lesson learned: words can have consequences, and may even exacerbate the problem you're complaining about. — Relativist

With all due respect, I am not "complaining" about anything. I am asking for there to be a shred of belief in what I am saying, what I am witnessing in my community IS happening and not being summarily dismissed because I am someone who voted for President Trump.
Having said that: yes words have consequences and as you suggested in the separation of children from their parents; actions have consequences but a lack of action has consequences as well. The lack of action is what I am attempting to address and true to form, the first step to addressing a problem is admitting that we have one, which you can see is tenuous at best.

Trump preached that the wall would solve all important problems, ignoring credible criticism. — Relativist

No Sir. President Trump did not preach that the wall would solve all important problems. His suggestion of repairing the existing wall and extending it is not something that is novel to President Trump. The difference between his administration and past administrations is that this administration means what they say and say what they mean, for better or for worse. President Trump ran on enforcing the immigration laws and updating them and that is not something I am against. I am not in lock step with his approach, his suggestions, his administrations actions but I can say that he is trying to do something.

Lesson: take criticism seriously, rather than dismissing it. Identify all the problems, by soliciting input and analysis from across both parties and a variety of backgrounds and expertise. Identify potential solutions and anticipate benefits, costs, and negative consequences to each. Anticipate that course corrections will be needed. — Relativist

Living in a border state I am well aware of how much the CBP have been consulted and to suggest that they are not experts is erroneous. Additionally I have friends who live in the immediate communities that refuges are being released into in addition to those being bused up to Phoenix.

The focus should be on problem solving, rather than "winning". — Relativist

Whatever. If we are going to fall back on hyperbole then we are probably not making much progress here.

Trump has threatened to cut off aid to the Central American Countries to punish them for failing to prevent their residents from coming to the US. Experts have noted that this is likely to result in MORE migrations, not fewer. Even if one is skeptical of this, one should consider the possibility the critics are right. Perhaps MORE aid would help. Perhaps more control of the way the aid is spent should be sought - I don't know, but it can certainly be considered and studied. — Relativist

Yes, I agree that more control over the way the aid is spent should be sought is an absolute. It is one of the reasons the President is cutting off financial support, because the money is not making it to the people as a result of the government corruption. The aid is not being cut off to punish any refugees.

Trump has frequently complained about our immigration laws. Lesson learned: at best this is ineffective; at worst it is divisive. Why hasn't he asked for a bi-partisan commission to revise the laws (accepting reasonable compromise) to make them more workable? — Relativist

Maybe he has? I know that right now there are enough people in denial that this humanitarian crisis even exists that I understand the frustration he is feeling.

And speaking of compromise: Trump and the Republicans have failed to reach out to Democrats on any major policies (not just immigration). They treat "compromise" as a bad word, an anathema to be avoided at all costs. Lesson learned: bipartisanship is a good thing. Compromise should not be considered a loss, or caving in - rather it is a way to progress. — Relativist

Compromise is a good thing when done in good faith. Honesty is just as necessary as compromise and we don't have a united front on honesty yet and until we do, anything we try is doomed to fail.

Be nice if you troubled to read and understand before you write. The addict as person is beyond immorality. As a sick person - and I think the verdict is clear that addiction is sickness, with altered brain chemistry, etc. - his/her actions don't fall under morality. But the actions in an abstract sense are still immoral, thus the addict personifies the immorality. I know its a difficult thought, but I think if you can get your knees to stop jerking, you'll get it.

And for the nth time may I point you back to the question of the OP. It reads, and I quote, "Is it immoral to do illegal drugs?" Nothing about addicts being immoral. — tim wood

What are you suggesting by "if you can get your knees to stop jerking, you'll get it" ?
Because I don't "get it".

I'm not denying victimhood, only pointing out the curiosity of separating the person from his will and treating a single person like a dual entity. If I shoot you, I'm the perpetrator and you the victim. If you're an addict, I follow how that addiction could be the result of trauma caused by a perpetrator, but just positing the addiction itself as a perpetrator is confusing because it divides you into two beings: your pure will versus your addicted will. — Hanover

I am sorry if I came across as trying to separate a persons' free will from their addiction because I do believe they are tightly intertwined, regardless of the reason for the addiction.

Thank you, Tiff. Just don't tell anyone about my compassionate side, as it will fuck up my hardball persona. :victory: — S

Your secret soft side is safe with me~ :flower:

I would pay a sizeable sum to see a few "elites" confined to a forum of their very own. :wink: — S

Do you need Hanover's last name for that sizable check? :joke:

The person as described by you is bifurcated, with the perpetrator as their addiction and the victim as the addicted. I'm not denying the possible truth of this description, just that it's curious. — Hanover

Interesting word assignment. I had to look up "bifurcated" and I am trying to put it into context here. Maybe you could reword it for me?
Going on what I think you are suggesting is that an addict sees themselves as "victims" and though that may be true for some, it is not my story. Having said that, being a victim in other circumstances and there was a true living perpetrator? Once you are able to work through the crap and compartmentalize what has happened to you, the moment you realize you are a "victim", in that very moment in time you have a choice. You can continue where you are being abused and call yourself an enabler of your addiction OR you can choose to do the hard work necessary to become a survivor.
It appears to be a simple twist of words but the shift in placing responsibility, squarely where it belongs after you realize you are being victimized, makes all the difference in who you emerge from the storm as.