I am glad you are here Waya~ :flower: :flower: :flower: You are a member of this misfit family we chose to love~ :sparkle:

Absolute apology. :broken:

I guess we both have issues... but hopefully no more crying today. — Waya

I can barely see the screen because my eyes are swollen shut from my crying almost 6 hrs yesterday so I wholeheartedly concur on hopefully no more crying today.
And yes, both of you have issues but that is because we ALL have issues. The hope is to find a way for us to work through/with those issues together.

Posty/wallows was pretty much the only guy who respected that and loved me for who I am rather than my body. He actually seemed to care, — Waya

I think he does care. In fact I think, and I could be totally off base but I think, he thinks, that he cares about you soo much that he feels you can do better with someone other than himself. That is actually caring but it cuts both of you short of the CHANCE for your caring to grow.
Don't give up hope. Sometimes it takes time to realize our mistakes and only on rare occasions is that person still waiting for us. I am a hopeless romantic so I feel change is underway but the outcome is yet unknown but the odds seem to be in favor of love.

I so wish you and my youngest (19 year old) son could talk.
He is a Sophomore at an Aeronautical University, and he is on his third year, literally 36 straight months of Calculus.
Me? I gave up math in about 5th grade. When they started mixing in letters WITH numbers I knew I was in over my head.
Oh and Math and I are such good buddies that my idea of Purgatory? Is to wake up each day, be taught the fundamentals of Algebra all day long, begin to understand what is being taught only to go to sleep, wake up the next day with absolutely no retention of what was taught yesterday.
Actually that is what happened in High School so.... :rofl:
I admire and stand in awe of those who can work math wonders. :clap:

I think you gave an excellent example of Stoicism Well done.

On Stoicism

I am not saying what is a proper response. That is your problem given only to you as it is given to me as my problem. We all have these peculiar assignments, given to each of us. Our attempts to sort these elements out either lead to some kind of policy for ourselves or not.

The courage part is accepting those conditions and not waiting for better ones. — Valentinus

@Valentinus Impressive reply.
Welcome to The Philosophy Forum~
Enjoy your stay ~

What I wonder these days is if it was some self-imposed masochistic test of willpower or an exasperated desperate attempt to stop wallowing and be productive, or just some form of escapism. — Wallows

Strengthening of will power can happen with support of others but that is often short lived unless it is coupled with the other possibilities you list. Feeling an exacerbation of being stuck at the same crossroads, not feeling free to choose ones' self interest, can be an agent of change my friend.
While I realize it is hard to see now and may well be veiled for all of us but you, Posty, is that Waya's degree of caring may have inspired you to chose a life not of continued suffering but to take the leap of faith we call change.

I don't know the ratios of what made that idea appealing at the time; but, it won't happen again. — Wallows

When it is harder to suffer than change, we change.

We talked a little about my problem with substances in PM chat some time ago. Today I have a meeting at my local clinic to address that issue. ADD is a real burden and I hope my p-doc can prescribe me at least Strattera. I also need to set up an appointment with a new therapist. So, I'll be trying to work on myself in the meantime by re-reading the Enchiridion by Epictetus or the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. — Wallows

Yes, I know we did but I would never disclose such personal information without your consent. Having said that: I am thrilled to hear that you are taking a proactive position and not a reactive position to the real burdens you are bearing in life. Stay strong with your p-doc and if that Doc doesn't want to change your trajectory as much as you do, put the wheels in motion to get another Doc.
Self medicating is such a hit and miss process in an attempt to feel better and sometimes we nail it and other times we aren't as accurate. I want you to know that we are behind your push for a more balanced outlook and there is power in numbers so don't feel like you are alone in this journey we call "life".

I'm too old for college girls — Maw

Ahh the moments of youth slip away.... :meh:
Need my readers yet? :razz:

Thanks, but I still care about him... — Waya

I completely understand and wish for things to work out the way they are supposed to. I just know that two members I care about are trying to help one another survive in this vicious world we live in and that is a beautiful thing. :flower:

So, full disclosure. I and Waya have been in a relationship for almost a month. I didn't dump Waya, I dumped myself; because, I can't take care of myself, am broken inside, live off of disability, and the feather that broke the camels back was when I recently decided self-medicating a stimulant (meth) would be a wise idea. The only reason I did this is that obtaining a script for Adderall or Desoxyn is too expensive for me to be able to realize. With all this shit hanging around me, I realized that Waya deserves a better boyfriend who isn't burdened with all these vices or impediments.

That's all I wanted to say. — Wallows

Awww Posty~~ Might you have disconnected a line that needs to be connected? I understand how someone can feel as though they are not worthy of loving attention but that is a recorded, outdated voice running though your head that needs to be overwritten.

Play with me here: List off ten things that you like about yourself:

Such as: List off ten things I like about myself;
1) I having a loving nature
2) I have witty comebacks
3) I have gorgeous brown eyes
4) I have a great deal of empathy for other people
5)……. you can see a few examples of a list of qualities I like about myself.

Now, you have to actually WRITE down the list, on a piece of paper and keep it in your pocket. Every time, not sometimes, not some of the time, not most of the time but I mean EVERY time you hear that negative voice talking to you in your head (we all have that inner voice and I am not talking about "hearing voices" as a patient diagnosed with Schizophrenia might have) EVERYTIME you pull out that list and read the full ten sentences aloud or if in public to yourself, ALL ten. If you DO it EACH and EVERY time, you will find two things: one, you have a lot of self talk going on in your head and two; after you pull that list out a few dozen times in the first hour, that you are repeating the same, outdated lines in your head. THOSE are the ones that will be re-recorded with the ten you have listed.
It works.
It is CBT.
YOU are worth the effort.
It can be done while wallowing.
The result might be that you will see what others see and that is you are worthy of loving.

I got dumped, again. GREAT DAY!!! :confused: — Waya

Point me in the right direction of this fool.... :brow:

What a great day... parents were screaming this morning, and I get to write a research paper this week, my right hand is injured, I can't keep food down without being sick, and it is so frickin cold, and dumped by a guy I actually liked... I must be negative for awhile... *hides* — Waya

Take refugee behind me dear forest friend, for I am a daughter of Mother Nature and her wrath is something men seem to respect. :fire:

@Hanover Please delete.

My real question is the one I asked. — tim wood

Fair enough

If you entered a place of public accommodation and saw everyone "heeled," would you feel comfortable, would you stay? — tim wood

Absolutely I would feel comfortable.

I myself would wonder what was wrong with my community that ordinary folks in ordinary situations felt the need to carry arms. — tim wood

What makes you think that carrying a firearm indicates that there is something "wrong with my community"?

I'd be inclined to think much folks were in themselves dangerous. When did a gun become a necessary adjunct of ordinary attire? — tim wood

A firearm is not a "necessary adjunct of ordinary attire" it is a choice and each person has their own individual reasons and frankly it is none of anyone else's business why they make the choice they do.
When did wearing a cross around one's neck "become a necessary adjunct of ordinary life"? I don't know but I know their right to freedom of religion protects that person's choice to wear that religious symbol regardless of my own personal choice to do the same or not.

What are they thinking, exactly? To my way of thinking an unnecessary gun is the sign of either very immature person or one with a significant personality disorder - neither of which should have a gun. — tim wood

:confused:

I'm not advocating thinking, but doing. — Terrapin Station

I hear what you are saying and I understand your impatience with remaining in a 'reactive' position and you would like to move into a 'proactive' position, I get it, I do.

We have to actually make some major changes by doing something. One thing we can try is simply banning firearms. — Terrapin Station

What I am suggesting, is that you entertain that idea understanding that not everybody holds the same position as you.
I am sure you are aware that many people believe in the right to carry a firearm and their belief is just as real and just as solid as yours' is.
What I am trying to convey, that seems to keep being missed, is the emotional basis in which both perspectives can be based in.
A suggestion of "One thing we can try is simply banning firearms" is to dismiss those that are not of the same belief as you, as though those who support the right to own a firearm are being summarily dismissed.
Does it seem fair to summarily dismiss their position, which is viewed as "proactive" and tell them that the solution to our nations issues with firearms is for them to surrender their firearms and remain in a "reactive" position?

What does that have to do with my comments? I wasn't saying anything about emotions. — Terrapin Station

I'm in favor of whatever would work to significantly diminish gun violence. And I'm willing to try very radical things to attempt to diminish gun violence--anything from a complete ban on ALL firearms to manditorily arming and training everyone, and everything we can think of between those two extremes. I don't care one way or another about the second amendment. My only goal would be to virtually eliminate gun violence. — Terrapin Station

You are asking people to think of everything we can between two extremes and I am suggesting that within all the good that can come from different ways of helping curb illegal gun violence, comes human emotion. If the human emotion and connection isn't recognized than all the "thinking" about everything in between those two extremes becomes irrelevant to the gun owners who accept the responsibility to own and carry a firearm.

My only goal would be to virtually eliminate gun violence. — Terrapin Station

In a Utopian world man would have no sense of fear of harm to himself and his family. However to remove an emotional response, to a fundamental need of self preservation would be dehumanizing, no?
(dehumanizing- in the sense of removing a fundamental aspect of what makes us up as humans emotionally)

And, would you go to a McDonald's or a Chuckie Cheese or a football game or anywhere else if everyone there had a gun? — tim wood

I walk among my fellow state citizens, who have decided, as a whole citizenry, that not only should you be allowed to carry a concealed weapon but you should do so in accordance with state, local and private owners posted laws/rules. We legislated 'trust' in our local government, to 'trust' us as individual citizens, to make the life altering decisions of carrying a gun/firearm.

The places you listed are privately owned establishments and they have made their rules about firearms abundantly clear with signage that will be respected.

Is your real question whether or not I fear my fellow citizens being armed?

All members should be replaced with cute red headed college coeds who think I'm a genius. I can't believe this feature STILL hasn't been implemented, even though I asked for it an entire sentence ago!!! — Jake

A forum full of S.E. Cupps! @Maw would probably go with the idea! :joke:

I wasn't putting any words in your mouth as you're quite capable of making an ass out of yourself without my help. All I was trying to do was helping you figure out the inanity of your position. — Benkei

Another one of my favorite forum attorneys!

Handing you my helmet....prepare for incoming :zip:

Quail? Where in the world are you located?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! I read you are an avid hunter. Are you able to hunt Turkey where you are?

That's never been a thing. — Michael

Are you sure?

What happened to our ability to note why we are flagging a post?

Blessings

Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!

I speak from personal experience; I was one. — Devans99

I understand that you speak from YOUR "personal experience" but that does not mean that anyone else feels that way in being an Atheist or has the same experiences as you.

You are quite brilliant. — Devans99

I do not apologize for calling you out on a wide brush of bullshit being painted across a section of society that is much greater than just yourself.

~shrugs~

How long you require to take your next walk is a measurement of how well you can manage your condition. That much is up to you. As always, I wish you the best. — Bitter Crank

:sparkle:

He was leaning into your shit just when you needed to be asking why You were leaning into your shit. — Valentinus

Excellent articulation!

Avoid Atheism; Atheists are depressed (and depressing). — Devans99

Ahem...bullshit :down:

I already see a therapist and he asked me the fundamental question as to whether I am committed to getting better or stay the same. — Posty McPostface

Your therapist asked you a very important question and you answered it in the current time when you were seeing the therapist but time moves on. So maybe entertaining his question, now at a different time would be fruitful?

I told him that I am content with my crummy life as it currently is, and haven't spoken to him since. Does that mean that I can just learn to cope with it? — Posty McPostface

Here is the key: be prepared when you use it, embrace it with everything you have because life has been waiting for you to make this decision.
"When it is harder to suffer than change, we change."

I used to frequent a forum where 90% of members are female, and I found it very interesting, until my views critical with feminism and gender ideology led the administrators to ban me. However, the men there were very interested in "female issues" such as couples, romantic love, motherhood or fashion, becouse males do not talk much about these things. I was surprised to find that topics totally unrelated to sex and relationships were very unpopular among most women, and I thought that women overall should try to learn more about (real) science and philosophy and men more about sex, love and children. — DiegoT

Hmmm... was it a Philosophy forum?

Well, history has proven some of your experiences the same as some of the males here are interested in cooking, exchanging recipes, high fashion and the ever exciting topic of sex! In fact the topics I just listed were all examples of threads started by men that did take off.

As far as "female issues" are concerned? Well, I am not sure that we have any "issues" so maybe you can give me an example to entertain? :smirk:

But this last part rubs me the wrong way but maybe I am interpreting what you have said wrong, let's see: "I thought that women overall should try to learn more about (real) science and philosophy"
What exactly is "real" science to you? :chin:

And although we might not be the leaders in the field of science now, I would watch your back if your job is at stake when we women take over that field like we have others. Just sayin.... :fire:

I am a female and am aware of three other females that are active on the forum and two more that are seasonal visitors.
I will let you know if I become aware of another female. As far as the rest being men? Best I know they are but if you have any doubt, let me know and I'll have my Rottie check for ya :smirk:

Christopher Hitchens perspective on Religion

I live in Westlake Village, very near Thousand Oaks. So, it kinda affected me. But, we just yesterday had a brushfire. So, God must be mad. He sent the crazies, now a fire, soon who knows what? — Posty McPostface

California is one of the most beautiful places on Earth, especially where the land meets the ocean. I can watch the waves for hours in a meditative mindset.

did you enjoy the video? I hope it engendered some peace and tranquillity in yourself. — Posty McPostface

Indeed I did and I think it gently occupies the mind with pure joy for the sake of joy~

Mmmmmm it feels like another shady count in our state :chin:

I wish I could be so relaxed... — Posty McPostface

Posty, how are you doing with what happened at the Borderline Bar and Grill? Aren't you near Thousand Oaks? :eyes: