Pursuit of happiness and being born I wonder if more people think this than admit it. Can I ask what your motivations were, if you can remember when having them? Was there an overriding pressure? Pride that you made something from yourself? Was it really some "instinct"? What does an "instinct" to want a child even look like? How would it be differentiated from any other preference? How can you prove wanting a child is any more an instinct than wanting that book or game or tickets to that concert or house? — schopenhauer1
I’d always, and still do, love little children: their minds, their little bodies, their purity of spirit. I was 30 when my first was born. I didn’t feel any pressure at any level. My wife had the same feelings about children, but I can’t know what else was going on in her mind. I didn’t view having children as any statement about my masculinity, or myself. Having children was purely for my pleasure. I thought I would give them a better life than I had, that they would be better people in terms of relationships, confidence, achievements, etc. Later I learned that what I thought were my weaknesses and doubts weren’t specific to me but was just about being human. So, my children now live through all the things I did, give or take a few things: relationships, jobs, security, money, friendships, doubt, weariness with the battle and the world.
I don’t know if my reasons are like our unlike my wife’s. Her love for children is pretty strong, but how do I separate love for children from instinct?
My idea about the instinct to reproduce is based on what I observe in the world. All forms of life, conscious and unconscious, reproduce themselves, male animals fight and injure each other to claim a male, animals, male and female, are born with physical characteristics to attract the opposite sex.
Is there any proof of instinct? I’m not sure. I need to think about that a bit more. Usually someone’s questioning of what I say helpS me clarify my thinking.
What does an "instinct" to want a child even look like? — schopenhauer1
Sit among a group of young women when there is a newborn baby present and you might get some idea.