Not knowing what it’s like to be something else It's not a grammatical nitpick. You're either defining what a particular experience is or you're not talking about experience at all, you're talking about something that
causes an experience.
Hitting your toe against the floor causes the experience of the pain of stubbing a toe, yes. I think that's what you meant. But when I ask you how experiences are compared and you say, "One hit her left foot, the other her right." you are not talking about experiences, you are talking about the
causes of experiences. I have no problem with the idea of comparing causes of experiences. There's no tension there. But I would like to know how
experiences can be compared. I don't think we can use language, because there's no way to verify what another person means when they refer to their own expereinces.
Unless you mean the physical act of hitting your toe on the floor is an actual experience. Are you a reductionist? That's one way to compare brain states: wire the two people up and see what's going on, but then that commits you to "brain states = mental states". Is that your view?