young newbie here

what it comes down to is the person asking himself, "is this life really worth living?" different people have different struggles and different tolerance to life's garbage. in the moment there's a rush of adrenaline, a high that cuts through all the apathy. his own life is in his hands. he could've planned it for a month but head still feel that rush. no faithful person is absolutely certain about what goes down after he makes the decision. it's life vs unknown territory. in that moment, whether premeditated or on impulse, he is chosing the unknown.