Love is opportunistic There are different sorts of love, some openly conditional, like that between spouses where there are certain explicit boundaries (e.g. forsaking all others), and some far less conditional, like a parent to a child. My love for my children is not predicated upon their doing anything, and it's hard to imagine there is something that they could do to totally eliminate it. — Hanover
I don't have any children, but I think you're finding it hard to influence your children. No matter what unacceptable thing they do you'll always love them. But conditional love can foster the notion that what you do has consequences early on in a child, if they do something you'd consider unacceptable you withdraw your love from them. It is a subtle way of raising better human beings.
Rather, than them always experincing boundless love.
Let's say, they are dishonest, you realize that, "then act aloof towards them." The child will feel the lost love from dad or mum. And would course correct.
These are the conditions of love, they make it perfect when experienced.
I guess what I'm saying is that conditional love is more of a tactic in this situation. To instill qualities like discipline, patience, responsibility, honesty, respect etc.
With time, children start to internalize healthy conditional love that guides them to act in ethical ways.
Let's say, you show unconditional love to your children, forever. Now they are adults, you and me know that romantic love has conditions (it is more of work, than something that just happens) what do you think these adults will be after –"unconditional love."
Which is unrealistic, they can be dragged through mud by someone who does not love them as much, but in their heads, they are thinking "I love you for who you are and nothing is going to change that. "
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