Is it morally wrong to not use a gift? Okay for the sake of argument I will take the opposing side and say using the gift should be a high priority. Sure it can be a pain in the neck to do something just to please someone else, but it is good for the relationship and it may be good for you too.
I have zero desire to buy a 7 year old great grandson a gift. Last year I spent a lot of money on his gift that I gave him because he is artistically talented and his mother said he would like the gift. He rejected it and I went through a lot of trouble and more money to return that gift and get him another one, and they got rid of that one too. This year I am giving the mothers money and they can do with it what they want, but I am not buying gifts for those who do not appreciate them, I am not catering to a child's bad judgment by buying some stupid toy just because it is popular this year.
It really hurts when our gifts and all the thought and heartfelt feelings that goes into selecting a gift, are not appreciated, so my home is cluttered with children's art work and gifts given to me, not because this is what I want, but it makes others feel good when we value what they do. And maybe the gift is more valuable than you realize. Calling the heartfelt intention a trap is a negative way of thinking about someone's'e concern for you. I didn't give the child something to help him develop his art talent because that thing had value. The value of that thing, was what he could make of it, and what he could make of his life if he developed that talent. I don't blame the child for not knowing this, but it is really sad his mother doesn't know that either. It hurts a lot because I am afraid the child will not have the good life he could have. It isn't just about things you know?
I think the advice that it is okay not to behave as though we appreciate what we are given is poor advice. How do you feel when you make a special effort to please someone by doing what you think will please or will benefit them, and your effort is not appreciated? However, we can say ahead of time, don't give me any socks, books, etc. this year because I have all I can handle. We can tell people what we really want. The year I said I wanted socks, I got enough socks to last a long time. :lol: But I didn't get things I don't want. :grin: