• Outlander
    2.1k
    I find it annoyingTiredThinker

    Imagine being told something about yourself that is positive. Say, hey you're pretty tall. It's kinda cool to hear the first or even dozen times around. After a while it becomes.. redundant. Then, annoying. Almost as if it's some negative attribute. This word or quality that one cannot escape. I'm a gardener. No, you're a tall gardener. I'm a writer. No, you're a tall writer. It becomes mentally crippling. Just think about it.
  • baker
    5.6k
    When a guy tells a woman she's beautiful and she either says that she knows or gives an unmoved expression that indicates that the sentiment isn't worth much is this just straight up hubris?TiredThinker

    Sounds more like an ironic snub in reply to an uninvited/unwelcome compliment.
  • Tobias
    1k
    When a guy tells a woman she's beautiful and she either says that she knows or gives an unmoved expression that indicates that the sentiment isn't worth much is this just straight up hubris? I understand beauty can be measured to some degree scientifically, but is there ever any purpose to being so confident in a quality that in and of itself probably has no substance? I find it annoying when women seem to think so highly of themselves when in truth they don't look that great in my opinion. I find overconfidence keeps people from communicating and really getting to know one another. Is there a purpose for thinking so positively and absolutely about ones appearance?TiredThinker

    A lot depends on how, where and when. When you are saying it to a loved one or to someone in an intimate moment, it different from when you say it to a woman you just talked to in a bar. When you say 'you are beautiful' you are entering some kind of game, like a dance with words. 'you are beautiful' means something else than a factual claim about someone facial or bodily features.

    To give an example, I work with a lot of very bright women, though I hardly have the urge to come up to one and say "hey you are bright". When I do so it is only to a friend, or submissive in a sign of admiration. If it was not and I would just say it after a casual encounter it would be arrogant and presumptuous as if I am the judge of brightness. Would it be hubris if she rolled her eyes? I think not. So it is with "you are beautiful".

    If I say it to some girl I meet, I actually say "hey, I see something in you, want to play along". My main move though is made on the playing field of physical attraction and perhaps she does not want to play along. Maybe she thinks I am not an aequate dance partner, by choosing that specific genre of dance. Or maybe she just isn't into me. Why would that be hubris? It has nothing to do with her feelings about herself, but with her feelings about the one saying it. If she reacts like that she rejects me, but she has that right no? There is nothing over confident in that no matter how rejected I might feel.
  • Agent Smith
    9.5k
    The Greek philosopher Socrates, of "know thyself" fame, urged young people to look at themselves in mirrors so that, if they were beautiful, they would become worthy of their beauty, and if they were ugly, they would know how to hide their disgrace through learning. — Wikipedia
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