• Truth Seeker
    896
    I wish you had had a better psychiatrist.unenlightened

    Thank you. CPTSD and Bipolar Disorder make a difficult combo to treat. I also wish I had better treatment than what I had. I have been on so many medications in the last 27 years and 3 months. I wish they had given me EMDR and Schema Therapy back in March 1998. I had EMDR in 2024 which helped. I am waiting to have Schema Therapy.
  • AmadeusD
    3.3k
    For me, there's a very simple way to ddealing with this.

    Be happy with making mistakes, based on moving forward with the best of your current knowledge.

    With this in mind, I cannot fault myself for simply 'being wrong'. That's something everyone deals with and is amoral. Every time I do something that requires a choice above the trivial, I asses what information I have to hand, go and get information I know I can get, and make a decision based on this. Action ensues. The outcome will only be relevant to later decisions.

    In this way, i've been both better at making choices/pulling triggers, and also better are adjusting my positions or actions based on prior results.

    This means I am never "second guessing" myself because everything is done to a framework, applicable at all times.
  • LuckyR
    600
    No worries. Think of trying for the best as Offense and avoiding the worst as Defense. It's just a question of knowing when to defend (typically when you're nervous or uncertain) and when to go for the win (typically when you are on familiar territory and are confident).

    Naturally one's appreciation of "confidence" can be skewed by a bipolar condition, so adjust for that.
  • unenlightened
    9.7k
    Thank you. CPTSD and Bipolar Disorder make a difficult combo to treat.Truth Seeker

    I wasn't aware of that diagnosis when I commented, but I did see that you were taking responsibility for a situation you clearly had no responsibility for. What I could see from a few paragraphs of text, your psychiatrist should have been well aware of, and in not consulting and coming to an agreement with your parents (and yourself) about treatment they have set up this further conflict for you, and produced further guilt and shame, that I guess was evoked in you by earlier traumas. Shame on them, therefore! There is no way on earth that you in your distress could have resisted the influence of the socially authorised expert.

    It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. — Good Will Hunting

    If you haven't, do watch this golden oldie; it is a Hollywood fantasy, but it's a good one. And good luck with what looks to be a much more positive way forwards.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    This means I am never "second guessing" myself because everything is done to a framework, applicable at all times.AmadeusD

    Thank you very much for sharing your system for making choices. I love it.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    Think of trying for the best as Offense and avoiding the worst as Defense.LuckyR

    This is a very interesting idea. Thank you very much for this advice.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. — Good Will Hunting

    I watched this movie many years ago. Thank you very much for reminding me of it and also for your insight.
  • Harry Hindu
    5.7k
    It's not just a matter of having access to information. It's also a matter of who to trust. I chose to trust a qualified and experienced psychiatrist over my parents because I thought that was the right thing to do. I can't even come off the 600 mg of Quetiapine XL I take per night because my brain has become dependent on this medication, and I can't function without it. I am depressed even though I take such a high dose.Truth Seeker
    Getting a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc opinion would also qualify as getting more information before making a decision. I always try to find natural remedies first and will seek alternate opinions if the first doctors are recommending pharmaceuticals or surgery first. They should always be a last resort. And another suggestion, children should listen to their parents more. Parents are not the ignorant, out of touch people that the media portrays to teens. Parents' motives are not typically related to money where a doctor's can be.

    I meant whether my nonexistence would have been better for me, compared to the life I have lived so far, which has been mostly suffering. Also, my nonexistence would have prevented all of my negative and positive impacts on others and the world e.g. ecological footprint. I am a Vegan, Egalitarian, Sentientist.Truth Seeker
    That is an unanswerable question, and best not to waste time contemplating it as it would just make your depression worse. There is always someone or some animal that is suffering more. It would be more productive to focus on ways to improve your life than to focus on things you have no control over or can never hope to answer.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    Getting a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc opinion would also qualify as getting more information before making a decision.Harry Hindu

    I didn't seek a second opinion. I wish I had. Sadly, I can't change the past.

    That is an unanswerable question, and best not to waste time contemplating it as it would just make your depression worse.Harry Hindu

    I agree. Thank you for your wise advice.
  • Red Sky
    37
    I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder on the 5th of March 1998. My parents told me to ignore the psychiatrist and not take the prescribed medications. I didn't listen to my parents. I trusted my psychiatrist and took the prescribed medications. 27 years and 3 months later, I am still struggling with depression and all the side-effects of the prescribed medications. I have gone from 65 kg to 98 kg as my medication causes weight gain. My mental illness has ruined my physical health, education, career and relationships. I often wonder how my life would be if I had listened to my parents instead of my psychiatrist.Truth Seeker

    First I would like to state that I am in no way qualified to be saying this, however I do have a slight understanding and sympathy for your situation.
    Looking through your words in this chat it seems like this one decision is one of your major regrets. Understandably, this one choice has changed your life in ways nobody can absolutely know.
    However, today you are still alive, and that is nothing to be ashamed or regret over. As you have said it has been nearly thirty years since that one choice, do you believe you have not changed at all?
    Does that one decision, that was possibly wrong, mean that all of your decisions to this day will always be as such?
    Though I can't see into your mind, or experience the pain you have. I myself have also had some very self depressing thoughts, and while the effects might be nowhere close to yours they are also a hill that I will stand and defend.
    How I came out of my own self depression I would say would be cowardice, doubt, and then bravery and recklessness. I always believed there was an answer out there that could save me.
    As for my advice from experience, find one thing that you love, that you can't abandon no matter what. Once I found that thing, any self depressing thoughts became insults against that love.
    It is always okay to start anew, to leave some of your mistakes behind.
    (Everything prior was just me brainwashing myself into thinking OP needs help from my experience)
    Now your main post was about making choices and second guessing yourself. You ask the best way to make choices.
    Personally, I think making guesses based on your values is important. If it is merely a choice and not a question then chose so that you don't regret.
    I also think this goes beyond simple desires. Obviously choosing something easy now could very likely become something you regret. It is also important to state that I don't follow the completely logical approach to life.
    Make a choice that you don't regret choosing. For example, you could choose to gamble or not to. While to me whether you do it depends on the stakes, there might be a time where you choose either.
    Would you regret not gambling, maybe. But you would definitely regret it once you lose.
    On the other hand, if not gambling means you remain the same, and winning means you gain something that you were missing, then it might be a good choice to gamble. You don't regret wanting what you were aiming for. (It should be obvious , but not only actual gambling.)
    The important thing in choice is that you are the one making it, and not others.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    The important thing in choice is that you are the one making it, and not others.Red Sky

    Thank you for your kindness and for sharing your experience with me, and for your advice.
  • hypericin
    1.7k
    I don't feel free. Do you feel free?

    Here are some things I have done, currently do or will do even though I don't want to do them:

    1. Breathe
    2. Eat
    3. Drink
    4. Sleep
    5. Dream
    7. Pee
    8. Poo
    9. Fart
    10. Burp
    11. Sneeze
    12. Cough
    13. Age
    14. Get ill
    15. Get injured
    16. Sweat
    17. Cry
    18. Suffer
    19. Snore
    20. Think
    21. Feel
    22. Choose
    23. Be conceived
    24. Be born
    25. Remember some events
    26. Forget some events
    27. Die
    Truth Seeker

    I think this is a misunderstanding of freedom. Freedom does not mean freedom from the constraints of existence. That is death.

    Think of it like a game of chess. You are not free to move pawns backwards. You are not free to move bishops sideways. The only way to do these things is to not play the game. And importantly, you are not free to win every game. But within the constraints of the game, you are afforded the freedom to choose any move you wish, so many choices that even the most powerful computer cannot explore them all.

    Sometimes I feel free. Even when I do, I am still profoundly constrained by the environment, and by myself. Nonetheless, life affords a vast scope of choices. This can be agonizing, and wonderful.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    I think this is a misunderstanding of freedom. Freedom does not mean freedom from the constraints of existence. That is death.

    Think of it like a game of chess. You are not free to move pawns backwards. You are not free to move bishops sideways. The only way to do these things is to not play the game. And importantly, you are not free to win every game. But within the constraints of the game, you are afforded the freedom to choose any move you wish, so many choices that even the most powerful computer cannot explore them all.

    Sometimes I feel free. Even when I do, I am still profoundly constrained by the environment, and by myself. Nonetheless, life affords a vast scope of choices. This can be agonizing, and wonderful.
    hypericin

    I agree.
  • 013zen
    164
    Regarding your original post: Why do you wish that you had made different choices? This seems to presuppose that if you had made different choices, things would be better, but this isn't obviously the case. Every decision, has some benefits and some negatives - its only often when we imagine the benefits of having done something else, while ignoring the fact that other choices would have necessarily had other hardships and issues crop up for us to face, that we feel regret. But, truthfully, its what you do with the benefits and negatives of any decision that truly matters. How you play the card that you're dealt. Beauty can come out of struggling, if you accept and strive to move forward and learn along the way.

    Each of us has strengths, and weaknesses; things we reflect on, and think we could have done better, but this just presents an opportunity to learn, and adapt, how we choose to respond to future situations. Imagine this:

    Imagine the world was such that everyone, always, made the best possible, optimal decision for themselves, leading to no regret, or second-guessing - would our decisions and their outcomes hold the same weight and import to us? What I mean is this, there are many things that, I think I could have done better, and its through reflecting on these things that I feel I've become stronger, and better equipped to deal with the world, and this makes my experiences unique and valuable to me.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    Why do you wish that you had made different choices?013zen

    Because of all the suffering I have gone through and others have gone through as a result of my choice to trust my psychiatrist instead of my parents. I was a first-year medical student when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder on the 5th of March 1998. In September 2002, my psychiatrist instructed me not to attend clinical sessions during depressive episodes. I did what I was told, but the medical school expelled me on the 13th of February 2003 because I had not attended the clinical sessions. Listening to my psychiatrist didn't just cause 27 years of suffering and side effects, but it ruined my career as a doctor. I could go on and on about everything that has happened during the last 27 years, but I don't have the time to do that. Also, I don't think you have the time to read hundreds of thousands of words.

    Imagine the world was such that everyone, always, made the best possible, optimal decision for themselves, leading to no regret, or second-guessing - would our decisions and their outcomes hold the same weight and import to us?013zen

    Such a thing could only happen if everyone were all-loving, all-knowing and all-powerful. How else could everyone make perfect choices? Since all-loving, all-knowing and all-powerful beings don't exist, such a scenario will always be imaginary.

    What I mean is this, there are many things that, I think I could have done better, and its through reflecting on these things that I feel I've become stronger, and better equipped to deal with the world, and this makes my experiences unique and valuable to me.013zen

    That's fine. I am glad your life is not as full of suffering as mine has been and continues to be.
  • 013zen
    164


    I actually responded because your story resonates with me - so please don't misunderstand. I also have BPD and other comorbid issues that have in fact caused me many, many, issues and have at times been hell for me to manage and deal with. I don't want to get into my personal life, too much, and all the trouble its caused me. I just want to say that, as someone that has and is dealing with, perhaps, similar issues (and many of them do sound similar) I'm sorry that you're struggling. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, and that I truly believe that we can make the best of our lives.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, and that I truly believe that we can make the best of our lives.013zen

    Thank you for your kindness. BPD is short for Borderline Personality Disorder. Is that what you have, or do you have Bipolar Affective Disorder, which is shortened to BAD? We are all making the best of our lives, but that doesn't mean our lives are perfect. I want lives to be perfect for all living things. I want the absence of all suffering, injustice and death. I want all living things to be forever happy. I know I will never get what I want, but that doesn't mean what I want is not worth wanting.
  • BC
    13.9k
    I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder on the 5th of March 1998. My parents told me to ignore the psychiatrist and not take the prescribed medications. I didn't listen to my parents. I trusted my psychiatrist and took the prescribed medications. 27 years and 3 months later, I am still struggling with depression and all the side-effects of the prescribed medications. I have gone from 65 kg to 98 kg as my medication causes weight gain. My mental illness has ruined my physical health, education, career and relationships. I often wonder how my life would be if I had listened to my parents instead of my psychiatrist.Truth Seeker

    I will presume that your bipolar diagnosis was accurate. Had you ignored the diagnosis, you might have had some serious psychotic episodes or deeper, darker depression. It seems like people with depression or bipolar disorders do much better with medication than without.

    Many people -- 10% to 15% of the population -- are clinically depressed. They exhibit the physical, emotional, and cognitive features of depression. No doubt about it, depression interferes with life. Lots of people muddle through it from year to year, but their lives would be better if they were free of depression. I was diagnosed with depression in my mid 40s, and medication helped me carry on. But I wasn't performing well a good share of the time.

    The Radical Therapy Group (probably don't exist any more) had a good motto: "Therapy means change, not adjustment." Absolutely! But, change has to be possible within one's ability to bring the desired changes about. I wasn't able to effect those kinds of changes in my life until I retired early (at 63), and that did bring about a liberating change. Early retirement wrecked my finances, but it also lead to a happier life.

    I often wish I had made different choices than the ones I made.Truth Seeker

    Don't we all! It's one thing to think the other toaster might have been a better choice; medical and career choices are a bigger deal. I made a series of choices at 18 that seemed like good ideas at the time, but were major errors. English Literature was not a bad choice for me, but teacher training was a disaster. Should I have stayed at my job in Boston for another year? Don't know; can't tell.

    Some of my job choices also looked good at the time but blew up. Sex and relationships? There were some stunning-bad choices, and some very good ones! Religion? Been dithering over that for decades.

    Excessive perseverating or ruminating on a decision seems to go with the territory of depression. And it's depressing all by itself. Antidepressants help, and cognitive behavioral therapy might help with that. So I've heard, anyway.

    My choice was to let the raspberry plants in the garden increase. Their choice was to take over the whole yard. They are damned hard to get ride of!
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    I will presume that your bipolar diagnosis was accurate.BC

    This is debatable. My parents think that I have recurrent depression. I have had many depressive episodes. I have never been manic. I may or may not have experienced hypomania - it is not clear. My parents wanted me to stay with them in Aberdeen and study Computer Science. I wish I had done that. My depression began on 29 September 1997, when I moved from Aberdeen to Dundee to go to medical school. My first symptom was insomnia which began on my first night in Dundee. When I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder on 5 March 1998, my parents said to leave medical school and Dundee and return to Aberdeen to live with them and study Computer Science. I wish I had done that.

    Excessive perseverating or ruminating on a decision seems to go with the territory of depression. And it's depressing all by itself. Antidepressants help, and cognitive behavioral therapy might help with that.BC

    Antidepressants didn't help me. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which I got in 2024, helped a little. EMDR, which I got in 2024, helped a lot. I am waiting to get Schema Therapy.

    I am so sorry that you suffered, too. Ever tried building a time machine so you can go back in time and change the past? I tried, but it didn't work.
  • BC
    13.9k
    No manic episodes? Not sure about hypomania? Maybe you are not. Don't know. Mania is unmistakable -- running from abnormally exuberant energy directed at odd projects to auditory hallucinations telling you to jump in front of a car. Hypomania might be fun for a while, but psychotic-level mania is an awful experience. So! Be glad you are not.

    I imagine you have talked this over with your psychiatrist? Been rediagnosed?

    Antidepressants don't work for you? Actually, there is evidence that they don't work all that well for a lot of people, apparently. I've taken several different kinds, and while they helped some, I was still more or less depressed, still functioning under par. Plus, we develop dependency on antidepressants--not addiction, just dependence. I've tried weaning my self off Effexor -- which has worked the best of all -- and I find the physical challenge too unpleasant. Stuck. Why take them at all?

    We don't like being depressed, for one thing. Second, there aren't many alternatives. Beer is safe and effective when used as directed, but we only feel better for a couple of hours. Too much and things can go downhill rather fast. (Maybe you saw the comedy bit posted in the Shout Box about "Slightly Less Than Two Drinks"? It's on YouTube.)

    Going back to the past to fix things is, of course, dangerous and extremely difficult to pull off without causing more problems. But, fantasy aside, if you could change your life to whatever you thought would lead to happiness, what would it be?

    Let's limit your options to actually doable things! I might have been happier being born into a very liberal secular New York City Jewish family, rather than the very conventional Methodist family in rural Minnesota that I got. Nice idea but not possible.

    I used to think that one could have a crappy job, but that after work one could have a fulfilling and interesting life -- in between supper and bed time. Sometimes that worked for a while. Mostly, the crappy job ruined the day and one just didn't feel like undertaking interesting and fulfilling activities at the end of the day. Twice I had a job which was fulfilling and interesting -- 8 years total out of 40 years in the work force. So, "Good Work" is a critical component of the therapy of change.

    I first heard of EMDR quite a few years ago, but haven't read much about it. At first I thought it was some sort of esoteric quackery. But it isn't. Hope it works for you.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    No manic episodes? Not sure about hypomania? Maybe you are not. Don't know. Mania is unmistakable -- running from abnormally exuberant energy directed at odd projects to auditory hallucinations telling you to jump in front of a car. Hypomania might be fun for a while, but psychotic-level mania is an awful experience. So! Be glad you are not.

    I imagine you have talked this over with your psychiatrist? Been rediagnosed?
    BC

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder Type 2 on the 5th of March 1998, but my parents said that was a mistake. The diagnosis was changed to Ultra Ultra Rapid Cycling Cyclothymia. Then I had one auditory and one tactile hallucination on 30 January 2011 during a depressive episode. Then they changed the diagnosis to Bipolar Affective Disorder. I have never been manic. Whether I have been hypomanic or not is debatable. I have been depressed most of the time. The depth of the depression varies. Here is a mood scale:

    +5: Total loss of judgement, exorbitant spending, religious delusions or hallucinations.
    +4: Lost touch with reality, incoherent, no sleep, paranoid and vindictive, reckless behaviour.
    +3: Inflated self-esteem, rapid thoughts and speech, counter-productive simultaneous tasks.
    +2: Very productive, everything to excess, charming and talkative.
    +1: Self-esteem good, optimistic, sociable and articulate, good decisions and get work done.
    0: Mood in balance, no symptoms of depression or mania.
    -1: Slight withdrawal from social situations, concentration less than usual, slight agitation.
    -2: Feeling of panic and anxiety, concentration difficult and memory poor, some comfort in routine.
    -3: Slow thinking, no appetite, need to be alone, sleep excessive or difficult, everything a struggle.
    -4: Feeling of hopelessness and guilt, thoughts of suicide, little movement, impossible to do anything.
    -5: Endless suicidal thoughts, no way out, no movement, everything is bleak and it will always be like this.


    I may have gone up to plus two on the mood scale, but it is not clear.

    I have been down to minus five on the mood scale. Right now, I am at minus two. What about you?

    if you could change your life to whatever you thought would lead to happiness, what would it be?BC

    I would like to prevent all suffering, injustice, and death and make all living things forever happy. That would make me happy. I know it is not possible to do. What about you?

    Maybe you saw the comedy bit posted in the Shout Box about "Slightly Less Than Two Drinks"? It's on YouTube.BC

    I didn't know about it. Thank you for telling me. I watched the video - it was funny.

    Twice I had a job which was fulfilling and interestingBC

    What jobs were they?

    EMDR is Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It is used to treat PTSD and CPTSD. I have CPTSD due to many traumatic experiences from age four onwards.
  • BC
    13.9k
    Right now, I am at minus two. What about you?Truth Seeker

    Right now I'm at 0. Back between 2000 and 2009 I was at a -2 and -3. I could interact with people and manage 'big picture' thinking OK, but was unable to manage detailed bureaucratic tasks like 'maintain detailed record keeping' and 'learn new benefit systems'. That's what led me to retire -- just couldn't deliver the expected performance. Medication was certainly a factor. It took maybe 3 years to return to something like normal.

    In good times I bounced up to +1 or +2. I wasn't manic, but I sometimes took off on half-cocked projects which were doomed to failure.

    What jobs were they?Truth Seeker

    The first job, after college, was working with college students who were getting failing grades. Some of the men didn't want to be in college (parent's choice) and some lacked basic study skills. It was basically a tutoring job. I also worked with faculty on developing and using media -- this was in 1971; what we were trying to do with difficulty then became routine later on with the internet and personal computers. That job lasted 7 years.

    The next good job was 9 years later (1987) where I worked for 7 years at the Minnesota AIDS Project in AIDS prevention. It was basically education work -- getting the message out to men in bars, baths, adult bookstores, cruising parks, and the like to use condoms, and so on. The HIV epidemic got underway in the midwest a little later than on the coasts, so we didn't need to convince gay men about HIV being a threat. I'm gay and was pretty familiar with the sometimes pretty sleazy settings that I worked in. It was challenging and fulfilling work, a lot of it late night. After 4 years of that it was time for a new approach, so I switched to answering calls on the AIDSLINE. That was less exciting, and most of the calls were from the the worried well. Some of the calls presented serious problems and many were about absurd fears and weird behavior, so that was interesting.

    I know it is not possible to do. What about you?Truth Seeker

    I greatly admired men who were effective change agents and critics of the capitalist system. I wanted to be one of those radicals who fit that role, but I really didn't know how to do it -- still don't, for that matter. I was fairly good at the criticism part, but that's the easier half of the job. Getting people to actually think / behave differently (ie, become socialists) is far more difficult. I admired and liked Jeff Miller, a local leader in radical circles in Minneapolis. He was a great speaker / writer and was able to attract a circle of Marxists that endured for... something like 30 years. We published a monthly broadside (a fart in the windstorm) and held weekly classes. Many people passed through the classes, but few stayed on. Jeff endured decades of poverty and privation in order to devote himself to left-political work. It was a choice; he was smart and could have been quite successful at a job. But he chose the better part.

    Another group of guys I admire have kept an anarchist bookstore in business (barely) for 40 some years. A lot of the men I admired have died of old age -- you know, you live long enough and the people you knew are dead. And others have moved on or moved away. So not many of these role models left.

    I tried to be like Jeff, but didn't have the 'stick-to-it' drive that it takes, and I didn't want to live just a cut or two about sleeping on the streets or in vacant space to do it. I knew several oddball guys who were living that way; they were smart, inventive, free spirits. At least that's what it looked like. That was back in the 1970s and 80s. It would be much harder to pull off that kind of life now.

    So here I am.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    Thank you very much for answering my questions. You have lived an interesting life and have saved and improved many lives - well done for doing this.

    On 24 December 2024, my wife and I got death threats from a Christian man. He smeared our window with blood and tried to knock down our front door. We called the police. He was arrested and was released the next day. We didn't press charges because we thought that was the right thing to do. Did we actually do the right thing?
  • BC
    13.9k
    Great; Christian attacks couples on Christmas Eve!

    From my perspective, you did the right thing. The man clearly has problems, and if he might have benefited from therapy, he most likely wouldn't have gotten it in jail--are you all still spelling it 'gaol'? On the other hand, it's possible that pressing charges would have made no difference in the outcome.

    I've been robbed at knife point a couple of times. it was a bad experience, and there was no arrest in either case, so I didn't have to make a choice about pressing charges. Robbing people at knife point, gun point, or by way of beating them up is not acceptable in civil society, and is common enough to degrade the quality of life in the urban core, especially.

    There is a steady hum of property crime and assault which doesn't quite rise to the felony level in which criminals can expect to do time in prison--too many crimes, police can't be present at most crime scenes as they unfold, and not enough cells to put people in. Juveniles aren't subject to the same punishments as adults, of course. Doing time in prison doesn't seem to improve people. If they were bitter and resentful before they were imprisoned, they are likely to be in a bad mood after release. Plus a criminal record and prison time makes it very difficult for convicted people to return to normal employed life. More crime is sometimes their only option.

    We arrest and imprison a lot of people in the United States. Prisons are usually inhumane but still manage to be quite expensive. Small jails run by small cities can be just as bad in terms of quality as the big prisons are.

    Jailing prostitutes, for instance, doesn't make sense. Maybe some prostitutes work voluntarily, but for many it's coerced labor or the prostitutes are victims of trafficking. They need an intervention and recovery program, not an arrest. Rather, arrest the pimp.
  • Truth Seeker
    896
    From my perspective, you did the right thing. The man clearly has problems, and if he might have benefited from therapy, he most likely wouldn't have gotten it in jail--are you all still spelling it 'gaol'?BC

    Yes, he is an alcoholic and does things like this when he is drunk. We asked the police to help him to get on a program to treat his alcoholism and the police did that. I think the man is much better off getting treatment than being imprisoned in a jail for years. Gaol is an old-fashioned word for jail and is not commonly used here any more.

    I've been robbed at knife point a couple of times. it was a bad experience, and there was no arrest in either caseBC

    I am so sorry. I am glad you were not killed by the robbers.

    We arrest and imprison a lot of people in the United States.BC

    I don't think imprisoning people is a good solution. People need help to change their values and behaviours instead of just being locked up.

    Jailing prostitutes, for instance, doesn't make sense.BC

    I don't think there is anything wrong with sex work. It should be legalised and treated like any other career. It should not be criminalised.
  • BC
    13.9k
    Gaol is an old-fashioned word for jail and is not commonly used here any more.Truth Seeker

    Well, that's a relief.
  • Moliere
    5.8k
    It would be much harder to pull off that kind of life now.BC

    Naw. Every age has its challenges and the free spirits are still out there fighting the good fight.
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