How many women does it take to change a light bulb? — Michael

One.

Peelings of laughter.

One penguin to other penguin: "You look like you are wearing a tuxedo."
Other penguin: "Who says I'm not?" [Prairie Home Companion joke show]

More peelings of laughter.

"What's black and white and red and runs through the forest?"
A burning nun. [1960s joke]

Stony silence.

"Why do Negroes carry pails to funerals?"
"They like to go black burying." [1907 joke book]

Gasps of horror.

Young folks used to swing on the porch. Now they swing in the Porsche.
A maid to order can't compare to a ready maid. [1965 joke book]

titters of laughter. Some hisses

Comedian takes out a semi-automatic with a jump stock.

Laughter dies.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bar man says that there are no pets permitted.
And where the fuck am I going to tie him to if I leave him outside? Asks the parrot

Joke of the Day - October 23, 2017

A different mathematician and a different priest are having lunch at a different restaurant. The mathematician asks “Can God count to infinity?” The priest says “I’m not sure, I’ll check,” and kneels to pray. After a minute he gets up. The mathematician says “Well?” The priest says “God says the integers were easy, but for the real numbers he’s getting help from Bernie Madoff.”

At least women can screw in a light bulb. You, unfortunately, would be standing there holding the bulb waiting for the world to revolve around you.

At least women can screw in a light bulb. You, unfortunately, would be standing there holding the bulb waiting for the world to revolve around you. — TimeLine

The world does revolve around me.

How many lightbulb jokes does it take to screw a comedian?

Three. So, you just screwed a comedian.

Bonus Comedy

Not a joke, but wonderful.

https://

Existential Comics

Why did Kim Jong Un execute the man in the Chinese Room experiment?

(a) Because he suspected the man was bilingual.
(b) Because the man couldn't translate Chinese into Korean fast enough.
(c) Because the man's sister tried to cross the border.
(d) Because the man was exposed to politically dangerous semantic content.
(e) Because Kim Jong Un's blood sugar was too low.
(f) Because the Chinese Room experiment was a state sponsored exercise in torture always preceding death.

Why did Kim Jong Un execute the man in the Chinese Room experiment?

(a) Because he suspected the man was bilingual.
(b) Because the man couldn't translate Chinese into Korean fast enough.
(c) Because his wife's sister tried to cross the border.
(d) Because the man was exposed to politically dangerous semantic content.
(e) Some other reason. — Nils Loc

Which man? The human man who worked to translate one set of symbols into the other or the intelligent system as a whole which included the first man?

How many lightbulb jokes does it take to screw a comedian? — Baden

About as many as it takes to screw up a joke thread on a philosophy forum.

Three then. Abort mission.

Virtual heckler... congrats, you succeeded hissing on a philosophy forum. :-}

Joke of the Day - October 24, 2017

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
A: >= X!^2 + (i^2 + X)^3, where X = 1

I'm almost out of jokes. Just a few more days.

" A friendly cock gives you a large ass hole"
Moroccan proverb

Don't count your chickens before you .

?

/ Hatch 'em.

who needs an enemy...

who needs an enemy... — Hachem

Not I. My bowels are just fine, thanks.

keep your bowels close, and your cheeks closer.

:D

8-)

?

I thought it was cool?

I'll be the judge of that. 8-)

no problemo 8-)

Gotta all.