Virtual heckler... congrats, you succeeded hissing on a philosophy forum. :-} — TimeLine

I certainly am not, a heckler that is. But I could be virtually anything if I wanted.
I had to read the second part twice, I thought you had accused me of wetting the forums walls.

Joke of the Day - October 25, 2017

Niels Bohr dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he finds Albert Einstein waiting to show him around. After getting the tour, Einstein says, “They have great bars in heaven, let’s go get a drink.” They go into a very nice place. Dark wood, quiet, comfortable. An angel brings them their drinks. After a while, Bohr asks if there is anything more exciting they can do, so Einstein takes him through a door in the back into a very fancy casino. There’s Jesus playing Texas Hold’em with five of his disciples. Judas seems to be winning. At the craps table there’s God himself surrounded by people from all centuries and cultures cheering him on. Dwight Eisenhower, some Neanderthal guy, and Frank are at the roulette table. Bohr says “See Albert, looks like I was right about quantum mechanics.”

God's parrot laughs and says "I heard that Bohr. If I believe that I don't know what hasn't been rolled yet, I will deign to play with myself. "

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.
So the barman gives her one!

is that the same bird that went into a bar and was told not pets allowed?

It isn't an empirical bird.

metaphysically speaking?

Surfin Bird: The Trashmen's biggest hit was 1963's "Surfin' Bird",[1] which reached No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the latter part of that year. The Trashmen was an early 60s band from Minneapolis. Bands like this are one of several reasons that the midwest remains "flyover land".

Bands like this are one of several reasons that the midwest remains "flyover land". — Bitter Crank

To be continued, the Noumenous Bird Theme (The Musical):




Why did the thinker ignore the bird?

Because he was

(a) a statue
(b) an idea
(c) an image
(d) a word
(e) a bird

Joke of the Day - October 26, 2017

This is it. I'm out of jokes:

Frank, Jesus, and a couple of their friends were sitting around shooting the bull and talking about their fathers. Bill told about the time he came home after curfew one night and his dad took away the car keys for a week. Alice described how her father wouldn’t let her go to a party after he caught her with her boyfriend kissing. Jesus said, “That’s nothing. After I got in a little trouble with the cops in Jerusalem, Dad grounded me for three days. On Easter weekend for Dad's sake. Now he makes me sit at his right hand and ‘judge the quick and the dead.’”

Irrefutable proof that they had great drugs in the 60's.

Surfin Bird: The Trashmen's biggest hit was 1963's "Surfin' Bird",[1] which reached No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the latter part of that year. The Trashmen was an early 60s band from Minneapolis. Bands like this are one of several reasons that the midwest remains "flyover land". — Bitter Crank

Great special effects. I think it foreshadows Star Wars.

If you didn't like Surfing Bird from Minneapolis, you certainly won't like Dancing Pumpkin Man from Nebraska. This was originally done as a time-filler on a small TV station by the guy that normally does the weather. It's been a big Internet and AGT hit.

That was a great time for music. It showed the world what not to do.

That was a great time for music. It showed the world what not to do. — Sir2u

I've just set up a Pandora station from that era. Gary U.S. Bonds, Beachboys, Otis Redding, Buddy Holly, Little Richard, Dion. Such wonderful music.

Since I'm out of jokes, I'll put in some other things I think are funny. This is for StreetlightX, MikeL, TimeLine, Banno, and all the other guys who are standing upside down - my favorite Australian comedians - Flight of the Conchords.

I've just set up a Pandora station from that era. Gary U.S. Bonds, Beachboys, Otis Redding, Buddy Holly, Little Richard, Dion. Such wonderful music.

OK, fantastic. :D

I had a collection of about 4500 singles and maybe 1000 LPs of music from between '54 and '65.

Where is the link? 8-)

Where is the link? — Sir2u

I didn't know you could link to a Pandora station. Anyway, I've just started. It isn't that populated yet.

I didn't know you could link to a Pandora station. Anyway, I've just started. It isn't that populated yet. — T Clark

I'm not sure if you can link to it, Pandora is not available here, but I thought that if someone has a link to a stream I might be able to listen in.

my favorite Australian comedians - Flight of the Conchords.

Since when are these guys Australian? Are you out of your existential mind?

It was intended as a joke for our friends in Australia, but no one noticed it or everyone ignored it.

Is that where you're from? New Zealand?

Tu lol

Ran out of philosophical jokes so here is a political one about the president. Take your pick which one.

A terrorist attack kills a whole bunch of world leaders and they all end up in hell.

One of the aides tells his president that he has found an elevator that, for a fee, will allow them to go home for a while to see what is happening. All the presidents and prime ministers run to make a line.

A few Europeans get to go first and all are told they will have to pay E.1,000,000 each.
A few African and Asian representatives haggle a deal so that they can pay in dollars, 1.5 each.

Then the president steps up and asks how much he will be charged. To his and everyone else's suprise he is handed a check for half a million dollars.

When he asked why he had been given this he was told, "Shit man you have no idea how hard it is to get people down into the sub-levels, so we pay them to go".

Next up on National Public Radio, sixty minutes of existential philosophy readings set to classical piano on: The Chopin Hour.

Are "choco Leibniz", teleological biscuits?

They actually are named after him according to Wikipedia. Evidently the present owners don't consider Gottfried's mug a selling point, sadly. Nice biscuits though. If not the best of all possible. :scream:

:fear:

"Don't forget this fact
You can't get it back" ...

~J.J. Cale