• Shawn
    13.2k
    What is the solution to depression? I'm struggling with extreme anhedonia and lowering of affect towards things I should care about. I feel hopeless in my depression and have been wallowing in bed for a good year or two now. All I do is stare at the ceiling and try and sleep it away. I don't know how to change my attitude and it's interfering with my relationship.

    I thought that getting in a relationship would help remedy the solution; but, that doesn't seem to be the case. My depression won't go away and it's nagging me constantly. I've already tried accepting it, disidentifying with it, and take medication for it.

    How do you deal with your depression? I hope something philosophical can be said about depression so I can stop wallowing and deal with it more effectively.
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    I just wish it would go away. I am so sad at the moment. Can anyone help me? I don't know how to help myself. Is this learned helplessness expressing itself?
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe depression is here to stay and all I can do is cope with it. Is that the only state of affairs that I am left with? To cope?

    How do you cope with depression, then?
  • Nathaniel
    22
    There's no hidden secret or magic trick to get past depression. Depression is a clinical term denoting a medical condition. So in simple terms if you can isolate the feelings of depression from say general stress , anxiety, and life just plaining not go in the direction you'd like then you can take steps to repair the damage. I would advise you to seek the help of a licensed therapist to help work through all the various conditions of sadness until you can isolate just the depression part.
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    Yes, I already see a therapist and he asked me the fundamental question as to whether I am committed to getting better or stay the same. I told him that I am content with my crummy life as it currently is, and haven't spoken to him since. Does that mean that I can just learn to cope with it?
  • Nathaniel
    22
    It doesn't sound as thou you are content with your lot in life, you would not refer to it as crummy if you were. All therapists ask just general questions they are only human like you or me, so you might want to find a new one that is closer to your needs. It is possible to cope with depression, it's possible to cope with just about everything.
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    Then, how do you cope with the depression then? My life is crummy but not unbearable. Does it have to get worse to get better?
  • Nathaniel
    22
    A lot of it has to do with the way one perceives their environment and reacts too it. It will more then likely will get worse before it gets better, but not in a tangible way. Internally it will get worse before it gets better, but externally life continues as it always has.
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    So, what is the appropriate way to deal with this issue? I'm trying to cope with it however I can.
  • Nathaniel
    22
    There is no one-size fits all cure. The variables are too great across humans. You need someone you can discuss your view of the world, how you perceive events that happen to you and around you. The individual you confide in needs to be able to impartially examine this info and point out the pitfalls in the logic and help guide you to a more productive way of thought. This process can take months to years to accomplish and in the mean time you focus on the positive and life goals and you just keep moving forward not because you want to but because you have to. Change is life and change comes whether you want it to or not. I know it's easier to hide under the blanket then face the monster in the closet but he's still there whether you face him or hide.
  • Devans99
    2.7k
    You can train your neural network to be more positive. Try to think glass half full rather than glass half empty. Over time, positive thinking should take hold.

    Avoid Atheism; Atheists are depressed (and depressing).
  • Valentinus
    1.6k

    Yes, I already see a therapist and he asked me the fundamental question as to whether I am committed to getting better or stay the same. I told him that I am content with my crummy life as it currently is, and haven't spoken to him since. Does that mean that I can just learn to cope with it?Posty McPostface

    Your therapist was putting a lot on you as the master of your fate precisely when you didn't feel in control.
    I would shop around for other resources.

    You are a smart and gregarious person. Never give up on your strengths.
  • Gilliatt
    22
    A good mind, but not a "positive" one. Do only what means to you. In my case, when nothings makes more sense, I know it is the time to go to sleep. And I wake up always so much better! All makes sense again.
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    Your therapist was putting a lot on you as the master of your fate precisely when you didn't feel in control.
    I would shop around for other resources.
    Valentinus

    But, he was correct, no? I mean, you can't really sugar coat it, can you?

    Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of doctor shopping. They all cost so much! I guess you gotta make all those laborious years at college count somehow...
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    A good mind, but not a "positive" one. Do only what means to you. In my case, when nothings makes more sense, I know it is the time to go to sleep. And I wake up always so much better! All makes sense again.Gilliatt

    What do you mean?
  • Valentinus
    1.6k

    No, he was not correct. He was guilt tripping you just when you needed to disassociate what is happening to you from a decision tree that you were actively populating.

    He was leaning into your shit just when you needed to be asking why You were leaning into your shit.
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    Hmm, I think this is sound advice. But, I'm a finicky guy so some people need to feel that they are in control over what's happening in my life, when they assume that God-awful responsibility.

    Ehh...
  • BC
    13.5k
    Then, how do you cope with the depression then? My life is crummy but not unbearable. Does it have to get worse to get better?Posty McPostface

    I don't know whether or when or why it will get worse or better. I've been taking antidepressants for 30 years or so. Various formulations. Some of them have worked to some extent. I've spent time in talk therapy. That was good, but it didn't cure the depression.

    What made my depression much better was a change in life circumstances over which I had only slight control. It probably is not possible for you to arrange a change of circumstances which would be so beneficial.

    And if I understand past conversations, you have much more than simple depression on your plate. Given what all you are dealing with, you should have both a psychiatrist (for medication monitoring) and a therapist -- somebody who can offer you on-going support. A cure is probably not on the horizon, but better management is certainly a possibility. Some of the responsibility for better managing your condition is yours.

    Not everything is curable. I have arthritis, and it isn't going to just go away or be cured. It probably won't shorten my life, but it is a pain (literally). My vision is slowly deteriorating. What can be done about that has being done. It will probably continue to slowly deteriorate. People with major neurological or mental illnesses (like bi-polar, schizophrenia, migraine, epilepsy) generally have these conditions for life.

    Even with multiple things going haywire, one can opt -- meaning, one makes a concerted effort -- for as full a life as possible. Whiling away your time wallowing in a slough of indolence and melancholia is probably the LEAST healthy thing you can do for yourself.

    So the least you can do is get out of bed, get dressed, and go for a walk. I realize that the world outside your front door is either burning down or getting gunned down these days, but you just have to grit your teeth and get on with it. Just avoid assassins and forest fires.

    If you don't learn how to achieve getting out of bed, gettng dressed, and going for a walk, then you are probably going to stay stuck in your wallowing hole.

    How long you require to take your next walk is a measurement of how well you can manage your condition. That much is up to you. As always, I wish you the best.
  • Valentinus
    1.6k
    Hmm, I think this is sound advice. But, I'm a finicky guy so some people need to feel that they are in control over what's happening in my life, when they assume that God-awful responsibility.

    Ehh...
    Posty McPostface

    Hmmmn. Responsibility is something one experiences so intimately that it is odd how easily it gets blended into other things.
    Whatever you are going through sucks simply because you know it sucks. No further verification needed. There seems to be a problem with trusting our perceptions that is not isolated by any particular form of suffering. The differences are significant. But nobody rides free.
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    Not everything is curable.Bitter Crank

    That's what I'm afraid of. Uncurable depression. Unremitting, unipolar, non-responsive depression.

    Oh dear, I'm digging the hole deeper, aren't I?
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    But nobody rides free.Valentinus

    What do you mean?
  • Valentinus
    1.6k
    Other people who do not suffer your problem suffer something that is connected to it.
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    And if I understand past conversations, you have much more than simple depression on your plate.Bitter Crank

    You are right about this. I also have a psychotic disorder (formerly diagnosed as schizophrenia) and anxiety. I'm so broken...
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    Do you have depression? What worked for you?
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    Did I mention that I have struggled with a substance abuse problem. I think that issue is in my past now, though.
  • hks
    171
    You must be independently wealthy if you don't need to hold down a job of some kind. That is the only way I could imagine that you can lie in bed all day long like Descartes himself.

    My solution to your situation would be to volunteer with some organization and make that your cause.

    If I could I would try to help feral cats. I love cats. But there are other rescue groups you can join.

    Charitable work tends to fall into 3 categories -- animal rescue, or saving the Earth, or helping people in distress such as the homeless. Which ever of these appeals to you most would be the best for you.

    Depression stems from a lack of purpose. Once you have a purpose in life then you will become more enthusiastic about living.

    I learned all this in grad school in marketing. The rich are a separate category of target markets and they have their own special needs. Since they have no need to work for a living they usually get involved in volunteer work.
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    Depression stems from a lack of purpose. Once you have a purpose in life then you will become more enthusiastic about living.hks

    Hmm. Then just shake it off? I've been posting on this forum for about 3 years and it's a cycle of depression or some other ailment. I just ate a hot dog and some chicken, so I'm feeling less depressed. :)
  • hks
    171
    Do something. That will shake it off, yes.
  • Valentinus
    1.6k

    hks is just repeating what your fucked up therapist said.
  • hks
    171
    He/she must be a good therapist then !!
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