• Emptyheady
    228
    Having someone who is more experienced in life and emotions calms me.Question

    What about becoming that yourself?
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    She most certainly does not love you. Most certainly. Sorry.Hanover

    Nothing to be sorry about. I needed to hear someone's else opinion on the matter and on issues like these your advice is golden. I guess I'm gullible and insulate myself too much, who cares?

    She most certainly does not love you. Most certainly. Sorry. She has a very complicated psychological profile that we'll be unable to fully decipher here without more information, but she's not just weird and quirky, but she has a personality disorder.Hanover

    Let me deliver the coup de gras. I know that a certain man was visiting her house when the husband and kids were at school (every Thursday), and they were having sex. Now, this guy looked like the type you see in porn shoots. Bald head, shaved legs, tall and muscular, wearing khaki shorts with black glasses (funnily enough similar to the type you see from police officers but I digress). Now, here's the kicker. I wen't to my back yard and said out loud after everyone was home, "I know you sleep with men on the street!", the response was silence and their kids going on walks by themselves at night as if in shame with the mom shouting their names from the house. I can be a real asshole if I want to be...

    She has a very complicated psychological profile that we'll be unable to fully decipher here without more information, but she's not just weird and quirky, but she has a personality disorder.Hanover

    Yes, I don't know what the fucking issue is and have been racking my head around it for a while. She doesn't talk to other women, which is strange. She has the typical mood swings of a BPD unmedicated individual, and I'm quite sure that she was a drug addict (meth) in the past, which she and her husband satisfy when the kids are on vacation.

    and lacks a maternal instinctHanover

    This, I don't know for sure but I would most certainly would like to know as this would change my perception on the whole matter and treat her as a basket case that needs treatment. She seems to care about her kids a great deal.

    You even referenced what you perceived to be psychopathic traits, and then you claimed she loved you, as if psychopaths love anybody. If she doesn't care about her kids, why would she care for you?Hanover

    I don't think women are capable of the level of psychopathy you are referencing here, due to hormones (estrogen, oxytocin, most notably, and low testosterone levels). Please correct me if I'm wrong here, as I know I may be.

    If she doesn't care about her kids, why would she care for you?Hanover

    This is not about me anymore. I feel a duty to police them and make sure my neighbors observe their behavior for the sake of their children. This is beyond personal at this point.
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    What about becoming that yourself?Emptyheady

    Time, I can't speed that up.
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    Bald head, shaved legsQuestion
    :-O
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    Here's some responses I got from a different forum. Quite lucid experience.

    http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=104573&sid=d45223a1753a8231f4a016847e203b27
  • Wosret
    3.4k
    I tried to convince myself that I was in love... but I knew that I really only liked how hot she was, and was totally ready to settle... no one's perfect...

    She was hardly a prize chicken though, she used to be a crack head as a teenager, and then alcoholic after her father died, which had her lose her daughter to her ex-, with her mother's help. She was completely clean besides cigarettes though when I was seeing her. She also didn't know anything... wasn't dumb, but just didn't live a life that was conducive to learning fuck all. Like, thought that "Christian", "catholic", "protestant" and such were all entirely different religions... and told me that her like 5'5 dad used to bench 500 lbs... maybe if he was a three hundred pound dwarf from Middle Earth.

    She lied all the time though, and I hate lies, and got sick of it, and told her to stop doing that, and threatened to leave over it. She convinced me not to, and then broke up with me like three days later, lol.

    I didn't love her, I definitely was attracted to her, and I really wanted to... but really I just was afraid that I couldn't do better... or maybe not even get another chance at all.

    She talked constantly, just telling old stories about the glory days of the past. She originally contacted me, and asked me out. I just showed up, she talked at me for a few hours, and then went home, she said it was all the fun, and wanted to do it again right away. I wasn't really allowed to say much, she'd respond sarcasticly, or accuse me of being antagonistic for offering a different perspective about what she was talking about, and would say something like "I don't see what that has to do with what I'm saying", if I mentioned something else, or attempt to introduce a topic.

    I tried to get her back too, and then insulted her a bunch with a nasty character evaluation, and then sarcastically asked if I was winning her back, to which she replied something like "I'm not a prize to be won!" or something moronic, so I decided it was better this way.
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    Pretty much THE common experience, considering the number of moronic women that exist out there... Smart women are a rare find bruv ... many women I can't tolerate for two seconds, much less for more >:O The brain the size of an almond ... :s But it's not just lack of intelligence... It's lack of intelligence combined with arrogance, pettiness, and pride that is the real problem. I've met some quite dumb women who were nevertheless enjoyable to be around simply because they were interesting people, who at least had some decency and humility.
  • Wosret
    3.4k
    I didn't think she was dumb, and I enjoyed her stories. I just felt like I was learning a lot more about her than she was about me. I only would have suspected that she was lying about small excuses and stuff if not for all of the recap of her past. Just in her own stories she lies a whole lot, and even made a point to deride someone that suggested it was wrong to do so, or said things she didn't like because they were being "honest"... She told me precisely how she behaved in lots of different situations, and when she thought that she was right or wrong to do so.

    I didn't ignore her at all, I could have trivia'd that shit. I just didn't like the lies.
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    Yes, I edited my post for some clarifications. It's not just lack of intelligence that I personally found repealing.
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    But I know exactly the type of woman you're talking about who goes on endlessly on her own story... >:O >:O I experienced that and it was terrible, I almost had to call the police to escape >:O
  • Wosret
    3.4k
    I enjoyed spending time with her a whole lot. She used to sleep all day and be up all night, so I usually didn't get to see her until like 11 pm. I'd take her out to one of the few shit restaurants that are open that late, and then go back to her place. I very very much enjoyed her company, more than I have anyone's, probably ever. I definitely enjoy talking to women more than men just in general.

    I often went days with literally no sleep at all, and continued a physically demanding job, just so that I could spend time with her. She thought that I always stayed up with her because I always wanted sex, which I definitely wasn't going to turn down, but that isn't why. I enjoyed her company more than anyone's, and enjoyed being seen in public with her a lot too.

    She wasn't a bad person, I'm just an emotional slut, and expect people to open their inner most selves to me like right away, and act like they're immoral if they don't. It was only a couple of months in... shouldn't have probably expected so much openness so quickly, and could be been more sublt and patient...
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    I enjoyed spending time with her a whole lot. She used to sleep all day and be up all night, so I usually didn't get to see her until like 11 pm. I'd take her out to one of the few shit restaurants that are open that late, and then go back to her place. I very very much enjoyed her company, more than I have anyone's, probably ever. I definitely enjoy talking to women more than men just in general.

    I often went days with literally no sleep at all, and continued a physically demanding job, just so that I could spend time with her. She thought that I always stayed up with her because I always wanted sex, which I definitely wasn't going to turn down, but that isn't why. I enjoyed her company more than anyone's, and enjoyed being seen in public with her a lot too.
    Wosret
    Sounds like good times :D

    She wasn't a bad person, I'm just an emotional slut, and expect people to open their inner most selves to me like right away, and act like they're immoral if they don't. It was only a couple of months in... shouldn't have probably expected so much openness so quickly, and could be been more sublt and patient...Wosret
    I am similar to you in this expectation, although I think it has to be largely with the way I am. I open quite easily to others. Well not immediately, but if I were to start dating a girl, within say 6 months she'd know most intimate details about me, and I wouldn't hide my vulnerabilities, etc. and I would expect her to do the same, although I've learned not to be too concerned about my expectations, because other people are different and sometimes they take much longer to be honest and open.
  • Michael
    15.3k
    to which she replied something like "I'm not a prize to be won!" or something moronicWosret

    That's not moronic. It's right.
  • Wosret
    3.4k


    It's moronic because it insinuates that I'm some naive idiot, particularly when I'm being sarcastic.

    Besides that, "winning someone over" is just another way to say to persuade, or endear someone to something. It carries no sexist, romantic, or sexual significance in itself whatsoever, it's just a common expression.

    Even if it wasn't though, and it could have been interpreted that way, I was just insulted that she thought that I would be someone that would think that way. Clearly didn't know me at all.
  • bert1
    2k
    "Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires." William Blake - The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

    Dominant women are rare. Let her have a go on you. I was toyed with by a dominant woman for a while. It was great. Didn't come to anything unfortunately. You might be luckier. :)

    EDIT: I'd like to add that this was one of the most profound, formative and important experiences of my life.
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    Oh, please. Stop it. Haven't you read anything I have said? She is married and has four kids.

    You think I'd stoop that low? Her kids would hate me and her youngest one would be devastated. He idolizes me. I don' think this is a good idea for spiritual development and advancement.
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    I don't think this is a good idea for spiritual development and advancement.Question
    I agree, however on a not so serious note >:) , running a shagathon with her doesn't sound like a bad idea >:O >:O :-O
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    You people.

    I am a happy person. At the very most I'd just have a phone conversation with her or send e-mails.

    Some of you scare me and wonder what philosophy has taught you.
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    You people.

    I am a happy person. At the very most I'd just have a phone conversation with her or send e-mails.

    Some of you scare me and wonder what philosophy has taught you.
    Question
    >:O >:O >:O
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    You weren't serious about that last post were you? I mean, that's a hideous thing to say to get me riled up over some stupid emotions about a rather old lady with issues with drugs, alcohol, and sex.

    Like you're literally telling me to go down to the dirt and mud, wallow in it, and then emerge a new man?

    What would Marcus Aurelius say?
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    You weren't serious about that last post were you? I mean, that's a hideous thing to say to get me riled up over some stupid emotions about a rather old lady with issues with drugs, alcohol, and sex.

    Like you're literally telling me to go down to the dirt, wallow in it and then emerge a new man?

    What would Marcus Aurelius say?
    Question
    Have you not read the:
    however on a not so serious noteAgustino
    Combined with my agreement that:
    I don't think this is a good idea for spiritual development and advancement.Question
    I agreeAgustino
    ? :P
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    Sorry, @bert1 really threw me off there. I wonder what made him say that.
  • Agustino
    11.2k
    Sorry, bert1 really threw me off there.Question
    I wonder what made him say that.Question
    @bert1 enjoys running maybe? >:) >:O
  • bert1
    2k


    I identify with you I think. But you know your situation better than I do. I suppose I partly want to give you permission to do what you want. Sometimes that's what people are looking for, even from a stranger.
  • bert1
    2k
    Some of you scare me and wonder what philosophy has taught you.Question

    One thing that philosophy has taught me is that we only start to think when we stop getting what we want.
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    I have no ego, or a little one so it's rather easy to identify with me.

    If you want to continue the conversation I can PM you as to the what and not the that.
  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    5k
    Oh, please. Stop it. Haven't you read anything I have said? She is married and has four kids.

    You think I'd stoop that low? Her kids would hate me and her youngest one would be devastated. He idolizes me. I don' think this is a good idea for spiritual development and advancement.
    Question

    This is the best plan of action or non action that I have read you say in this whole thread. Hanover's guidance is priceless, listen to what he is saying. My feeling is that if dominance is something you are craving/looking for in a sexual experience, which is very normal, then hire it for yourself.
  • bert1
    2k
    This is the best plan of action or non action that I have read you say in this whole thread. Hanover's guidance is priceless, listen to what he is saying. My feeling is that if dominance is something you are craving/looking for in a sexual experience, which is very normal, then hire it for yourself.ArguingWAristotleTiff

    Nah, his advice isn't very good. Better not to hire if you don't need to, and not all DS relationships involve sex.
  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    5k
    Nah, his advice isn't very good. Better not to hire if you don't need to, and not all DS relationships involve sex.bert1

    To each their own about whose advice to follow and yes, I am well aware of what a Ds relationship can look like and I said "IF" he was craving/looking for in a sexual experience not that he WAS craving/looking for a sexual experience.
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