I like my coffee like I like my women.

Without a penis.

It's a sign of taking a forum's topic and guidelines seriously. — Michael Ossipoff

There is a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to be serious and a time to joke. They who do not recognize a joke (in a jokey thread) travel under a heavy yoke.

Her waiter said, "Madam, how would you like your coffee?"

The diva leaned back in her banquette, arms around two gorgeous black guys, and said, "I like my coffee the way I like my men."

"I'm sorry, madam; we don't have gay coffee."

You said:

My single 74 year old sister is available

But I thank you for the offer anyway, though I'm not interested.

But don't give up on my account. Maybe youwill be able to pimp-out your sister.

Michael Ossipoff

Readin', mostly. Also talkin' 'bout, and chucking both figuratively and literally at times. — Wosret

Amen brother.

It's not a real insult if it's asked for, so it's all good. — Michael

I guess I could say that about everybody I ever insulted, they all asked for it.

Now I feel better about my life. :D

:sparkle: necromancy :sparkle:





Nietzsche's cat

I'll start with my favorite.

"Did you hear about the cannibal who showed up late to dinner?"

What about the cannibal who showed up too early to dinner?

For me jokes/ humour relies on purposeful misinterpretation/taking things out of common sense context:

Usually by taking the figurative/ common sense and making it highly literal and rational (often at the expense of obvious moral/ethical consideration) which leads to "Dark/twisted humour" as in the sense of the the following example 1:

Example 1 - "Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

It's correct rationally, but horrific ethically, and that discrepancy leads to the shock factor and humour.

Example 2 - My doctor told me to "cut my alcohol intake", snips scissors through flow of wine before drinking. I don't know how it'll help but Doc said to "cut it" so.

Idiocy or stupidity of interpretation, daftness, is amusing for those that acknowledge how it should obviously be interpreted.

Missing the point, or pointing out other logical aspects of a statement that aren't inherently thr purpose of the statement is also funny:

Maths problems: if jenny has 64 chocolates and eats 42 of then what does she have now?
Ans: diabetes. Jenny has diabetes.

Or "if John has 6 apples in one hand and 9 apples in the other, what does John have?
Ans: freakishly huge hands.

It's sensible but misses the point/context.

I think all humour depends on this misinterpretation. Which is "dry wit" - cutting down to the simple/logical (sharp/witty) but dry (without common sense). It is blunt, ironic, emotionless, apparently unintentional and slapstick.

Of course it is intentional as if it wasn't intentional it would be psychopathic. And not so funny then.

Comedy: the New "Way to Slay."

How many Platonists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None... lightbulbs in the world of appearance are but dim shadows of the eternal form of the Lightbulb, which always shines perfectly in the realm of ideas. All they do is argue about whether you're seeing a bulb or not.