TBF, though, one could have an actual lover and yet use fake porn or dolls on the side--if, for instance, one is attracted to adults but also has a pedophilia fetish that they can't quench short of some kind of action, even if it's (thankfully) to harmless simulated acts as opposed to extremely harmful real ones.
As for couples who engage in such taboo-violating being secretive about this, maybe--possibly. But they're still not going to get arrested or even fired if someone else actually finds out about this, are they?
As for the bodies being adult, Yes, but please keep in mind that there could be cases of adults having childlike appearances; for instance, an 18-year-old looking like they're 12 (though this would probably be easier if one is female). Or adult people who have a cherubic appearance:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherub
Really, if an adult is short, has no or very small breasts, has little or no body hair and facial hair, and has youthful, androgynous features, then they could simulate some or even many of the elements of children that pedophiles find attractive. For instance, adults with a cherubic appearance, as I mentioned above.
As for the verbal aspect, I'm not sure that you could actually guarantee that. If two consenting adults will engage in a sexual roleplaying fantasy that simulates child *abuse* in particular, for instance, then the language would probably be astronomically harsher than in Lolita. It could also involve things such as simulated gagging and simulated choking and whatnot. Really quite gruesome stuff.
(No, I am NOT speaking from personal experience here, thankfully!)