but rather an application for acceptance in a long term care facility — ArguingWAristotleTiff

Mental or physical health care?

Who, not that. — Hanover

Depends on the person that you are talking about I guess, a true grammar cop would have noticed the slight immediately.

Will everyone please go snipe at each other on the Shout Box. — T Clark

That telling them.

Bad grammar can have serious consequences. For instance:

Let’s eat, grandma!

vs

Let’s eat grandma! — praxis

Both are grammatically correct, the difference is the punctuation.

The child's imaginary friend disappeared when his childhood disappeared, but you get entirely diverted by the word "puff" and declare it an ode to marijauna. — Hanover

I had a bad experience with that damned dragon a few years ago. I woke up one morning with the song "Puff the magic dragon" looping in my head. I spent the whole day with it spinning around in there. The funny thing is that I had not heard the song since I was a kid and that was a loooooong time ago.
At the end of the work day I was leaving and a teacher from the primary area asked if I could help her with something. She pulled out a book about Puff the magic dragon. I almost took of running.

And you are probably right about it being about a boy growing up and forgetting his friend.
And "puff" then turned into something completely different.

Some say the song is about drugs and whatever, but to me it's clearly a sentimental song about little boys growing up. — Hanover

And doing drugs and whatever.

Monica's to advance her career and Willey to continue on his pattern of taking advantage of women who fall at his feet, without getting caught? — ArguingWAristotleTiff

Personally I think it was probably her idea that they got caught so that she could become famous. But I, like everyone else in the public don't and probably will never know the whole story.

I really don't like the idea of anyone with authority using it like that, as a man it is not the correct way to behave no matter what position you hold. But shit happens.

They were consenting adults and she could have walked away. If she was as good a worker to have a position that put next to a president she could have found work anywhere. But she wanted and accepted the deal that was offered so that makes her just as responsible as the idiot with his fly open.

How would the people have seen things if Hilary had been the president and she was caught getting some nooky? Would the people have cried fowl as well?

So if I fast and contemplate — MysticMonist

This includes abstinence from sex, booze and television. Unless the TV show is a philosophical competition game where at least one fasting member of the following religions are participating. Jewish, Catholic, Anglican, Muslim, and Southern Baptist. Sex is also permitted if it is shown on said TV show.

Both are relevant and what Bill did to Monica is a perfect example of a person of power using that for/or against a woman he has a sexual interest in. — ArguingWAristotleTiff

Both are relevant and what did Monica to Bill is a perfect example of a person of power using that for/or against a man she has a sexual interest in.

They were both to blame. Buttheads

A guy walks into a pub and puts a bucket on the bar.

He says to the barman "Give me a pint of bitter and fill the bucket with mild".

After downing his pint he walks out of the door with the bucket in hand and returns a few minutes later to repeat the process.

After the guy has repeated it four times the barman had become curious enough to ask wht he was doing with the bucket of mild. "You ain't givin' that beer to some kids are yer?"

"No." replies the man "It's for my magic elephant." With that he walks out with the next round.

When he returns the barman asks "Are you pullin' me leg about the elephant?"

"No, not at all. He is right outside, go and look."

S few minutes later the barman returns with a shocked look on his face. "That's a big bastard ain't he, but I don't see nothin' magical about it. What he do that?"

"He makes love to cats"

Amid howls of laughter from the crowd of drinkers the man walks out with another round followed by the happy boozers.

The barman comes up with a cat and says "I just gotta see this. I'll bet a weeks beer yer talkin' shit. What does it take to make him get it on with the moggy?"

"Well usually he does not do public performances but for a bet like that OK. Just put the cat down in front of him and back off"

When the cat is sitting in front of the elephant the man whispers in his ear "Do your stuff big boy"

The elephant lifts its might leg and stamps down on the cat.

Has anyone ever heard the magic elephant joke?

A man walks into an old house in Jerusalem, walks around a bit and asks if he can talk to the owner.

When an old man shows up the visitor asks if he has lived in the house for long.

The old man answers that the property has been in his family for many generations and it is even said in the family history that they owned in the time of that interloper called Jesus.

The visitor smiles and says gently " I am that man, I am Jesus and have returned to save humanity."

The old man looks at him and laughs. "So you can prove that if I ask you some questions then?" he asks.

"Of course I can" says Jesus. "Ask all you want."

The old man rambles away and comes back shortly with a very old, very big book. "This is the history of my family. It goes back hundreds of years"

The old man asks questions taken from all sections of the book, and Jesus answers them all correctly.

The old man takes a long look at Jesus and says quietly, "One more question"

"Where did the owner of this house sit the last time you ate here?"

Jesus responded immediately, "He never sat with us, He said it would not be right of sit in with a group of friends that he was not part of"

The old man stare at Jesus for several minutes with a large smile on his lips.

"So it is true then." he said. "You promised to return and you did."

"Of course I did, I always keep my promise."

"About bloody time too." the old man screamed. "Do you know how much interest you owe on the last supper you ate?"
"My family has had to wait 2000 years for you to come and pay but now we will be rich."

This is a joke thread. — Sapientia

Did I miss your joke? No, because it was not there to miss.

Please refer once again to my previous post.

You are really addicted to being a grammar cop are you not. And even if you say that none are available at the moment, I know just how to call one. I just ignore all of the little red lines in my posts.

You have no idea how much fun it is to see you jump at the mistakes.
Of course you only seem to do it to mine, whilst flagrantly ignoring or maybe failing to spot other posters' failure to punctuate, capitalize, spell check or even write blatant stupidity.

You butt in on my discussions and reply to things I have posted for others, this shows a total lack of the courtesy which one would expect from someone that brags about being a moderator on the forum.

I have no further wish to carry on any kind of discourse with a person that demonstrates so little respect for the members of this forum. Please refrain from all further communication.

Oh, dear I almost forgot to mention this. I know it my might seem silly of me, but why did you have your head in a bucket?

I'm afraid all of us are busy right now. We're dealing with an urgent situation involving a bucket, some clear liquid, a head, and some exploitable ambiguity. It's a real problem. — Sapientia

Golly b'joggers. You fellows must be really, but really busy right now.

I will toggle along and leave you to it them.

If you want to play innocent be my guest. — Hachem

Oh dear, should I find a lawyer?

Oh. I must have misunderstood. It's hard to see through this bucket.

I thought that I was joking, but I'm glad that there are people here to correct me. — Sapientia

Happy to be of service. X-)

I am not complaining. I am judging you, and it is as ugly as your judgment of me. — Hachem

Maybe we should call one of the grammar cops to examine your sentences. They seen to be saying you don't like the way I replied to something. Is that not the definition of complaining?

In what way have I judged you? If trying to explain means that I doubt you are intelligent enough to understand then maybe. But I thought that you required an answer from me.

Ah, I see. So you know a couple of people that stick their heads in things without knowing anything about a bucket of clear liquid. — Sapientia

Ah, I see. you still fail to understand. I never mentioned a bucket, with or without any content whether that be clear fluid or otherwise.

you should have participated in the discussions concerning this subject. — Hachem

First of all, what discussion? You told a joke and people were asked to comment if they so wished, I did wish.

Here you are supposed to be funny, not a smart-ass. — Hachem

I did not ask any one to comment on my comments, so when I reply to them I suppose that it is what they want. If they don't want me to reply then they should either not reply to my comments or specifically state that they do not wish replies to their replies to my comments.

So what are you specifically complaining about?

You know a couple of people who are like a bucket of clear liquid? — Sapientia

No.

I know a couple of people that stick their heads in things without knowing anything about it.

You don't take chances with your children. Also, whether or not they would participate in a particular behavior, the fantasy says something about how that person thinks and sees other people. Actually, maybe it's more that making your fantasies public shows that you are the kind of person who does not understand appropriate human boundaries. I hadn't thought about that. I think it makes a lot of sense. — T Clark

I worry about the ones that say what they think, but how can you worry about the ones that don't?
As I said the ones that do have fantasizes would be more likely to do something than others, but no one knows what goes on in other peoples' heads. Just look at the number of honorable members of the churches get into things that are not very nice.

I think that's the type of example that tests the principle. If others knew about that fantasy, they would not let their children within a mile of the person. And they'd be right. — T Clark

Does the fact that a person fantasizes about doing something mean that they would actually do it?
Many have thought about killing themselves, but they don't all do it.
I have fantasized about becoming a super hero, not got around to it yet though.

I agree that someone is probably more disposed toward certain types of behavior if one gets pleasure from them, but between thinking about hurting someone and actually doing it there is a big gap.

And the punch line is? :-*

Funny, because I know a couple of people like that.

How do you describe a blind fisherman.

A guy that is fshng

Why did the blind guy fall into the hole in the ground?

Because he could not see that well.

Such a shame that only one person understood. :-*

So you are saying you really are all fucked? — Banno

Not "you", "them"

That no one has any balls, that leadership is dead?

Perhaps you are right. — Banno

Banno, how could you possible read all of that from my post?

All I did was try to see if anyone was available to do a job that is well worth doing.

Let's wait and see how many volunteers there are.

What would happen if I did make my fantasies more public. I think a lot of people would not want to be around me. — T Clark

That would depend on what the fantasies were, who knows you might even get offers of participation.
But if you started talking about how you would like to find out what sex with a goat was like, then yes I would be the first one out of the door.

Making that type of thing publically available and acceptable, even if it wouldn't lead to dangerous behavior (which is questionable), would probably set a tone that would make the most vulnerable people feel threatened. — T Clark

Is watching pornography a stimulant or a learning method?
Lots of people say that watching porn makes the people want to copy what they see, but would they watch something that disgusted them.
I am not a fan of watching porn but I am pretty sure that I would not want to watch something that involved violence. So I could not learn about violent sex from it.
Someone with a slightly different way of looking at sex might like a bit of rough sex, but does he/she need porn to learn from.

Kids are something else, many do use porn as a learning resource. But would they really go out and start slapping their young partners around just because they saw it in a porn film? I seriously doubt they would have many opportunities for sex if they tried it.

Enough talk. The facts are there before you. Time to act. — Banno

OK, so the majority has stated that the US of A needs to bring in stricter gun laws. Let's do the planning.
Who wants to write up the laws?
Who wants to work out how much it is all going to cost and where to get the money?

Who wants to be the one to implement the plan? You know, like going out there and start taking the guns off the people?

So, when experienced in private, are these types of fantasies moral? Ethical? — T Clark

Morality involves judgement, who will judge you? You could answer "myself", but do you really control what happens in your imagination?
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas is the saying. I think that as long as your thoughts are 100% private them no one, not even yourself should need to judge them. Being fantasies they have no realistic value.
Imagine day dreaming of solving all of your financial problems by robing a bank. You dream out all of the plans, the execution of it and then an image of someone getting shot jumps into your dream. Did you really intend for that to happen?

Granny on the curb. Part 2

Son "Agh come on pa', it ain't my fault they took her"
Dad "But it was your fault they took the god damned sofa she was lying on and I want it back"

Where was I going with this? — Baden

If you don't know, how the hell should we?

When you was born you was so ugly the doc slapped the shit out of you mama.

Dad to son, "Hey dumb ass, why you leave your ugly old granny on the curb?"
Son, "She said she wanted to see the people passing by."
Dad "So now you gotta go chase the garbage truck that hauled her ass away."

Thoughts? — Hanover

Try writing limericks?

The bus incident you refer to didn't involve the use of a firearm, though. — Ciceronianus the White

The use of firearms as a preventive method does not always require one to fire it. But the incident did involve the use of firearms. If one of the passengers had started to fight with the thief things might have ended up very different as has happened on several occasions before.

I suspect that most of the law abiding citizens carrying firearms for protection haven't spent much time being trained in their use. — Ciceronianus the White

And I suppose the bad guys are about the same, except for the practice they get attacking others.

I tried with the Napoleon joke. — praxis

OK so now it is auto-evaluation time.

On a scale from 1 to 1.1, how did you score on that joke? X-)

Make it your last. — Hanover

The thread is about the last word here, on this thread. Not the last word at the end of the world or even your life. Lighten up a bit. :D