Comments

  • Masculinity
    Here are altogether too many words about it.fdrake

    Apparently, only the tip of the iceberg. There are multiple critical analyses of not only that scene but the whole film. Interdisciplinary theses concerning how we have been historically influenced by romantic comedy, especially from Hollywood.
    One example: ( and related papers)
    (PDF) Romantic comedies of Hollywood a critical analysis | Chayan Acharya - Academia.edu
    https://www.academia.edu/41766394/Romantic_comedies_of_Hollywood_a_critical_analysis#:~:text=This%20thesis%20examines%20the%20history%20of%20the%20genre%2C,politics%20in%20the%20course%20of%20the%20twentieth%20century.
    [ sorry, don't know how to reduce all the blue ]

    When I watched the film - all those years ago - I took it at face value - an entertaining rom-com with a predictable end. No idea as to its effect or impact on people concerned with male/female roles or gender politics.

    Initially, I thought you were having a bit of a laugh. Nevertheless, your post and follow-up provide much food for thought. I'll have a go at responding...

    The scene is ultimately conservative, except for the lady at the end.

    [...] it embodies the whole "dance" of patriarchal feminine sexuality, rather than subverting it.
    fdrake

    I hadn't thought of it in terms of 'conservatism' before. But yes, I suppose humans have always danced or interacted to the tune of love and sex. Standard relationships. Stimulus/response. Hence the continuing popularity of watching romcoms, even with updated awareness of different genders and situations. Hollywood happy endings. ( I read that Nora Ephron was overruled. She wanted the ending to reflect reality)

    Not sure whether the intention was to subvert 'patriarchal feminine sexuality' - whatever that is.
    Is it the expectation that a woman isn't a woman unless she is married and has kids?
    Or that casual sex, multiple partners and sex outside of marriage were unacceptable acts for women.
    For men only. An old patriarchal taboo about to be turned on its head.

    Yes, I see you have explained this in terms of 'female dignity' in the sense that Harry seems to disrespect women through serial casual sex. I can't remember if we are given the perspective of all his 'girlfriends'. And yet, from what I remember he was married and his divorce caused him all kinds of agony. Perhaps a prime example of the masculine - wanting to 'sow his wild oats' before a settled monogamy with all-important kids.
    I should watch it again...perhaps.

    Whatever subversion there is in the scene is only Sally's... vocalisation... of the shame/desire bind patriarchal sexuality demands of both of them - she ain't supposed to be that direct about it. Which opens up an interesting space of merely aesthetic adherence to post-patriarchal norms of eroticism and romance, while in fact embodying them.fdrake

    I'm not sure what you are saying here. Is it that there will always be the hope and expectation of mutual climax with some performance anxiety attached? Young males/females impressed/trained by the arts as to what normative roles to play in the 'dance'.

    Like radical feminist couples defaulting to patriarchal splits of household labour when times get tough, women letting men "put them on their front again", and men expecting it. The patriarchal generation of desire tends to prove stronger, psychogenically, than transgression against it.fdrake

    Does this follow, given that a radical feminist couple might consist of 2 females or 2 males, or any combination of 'masculinities and femininities...?
    Confused as to the description of traditional women 'letting' men put them 'on their front' again.

    The crone at the end lampshades that dynamic - she's an anonymous middle aged woman. She simultaneously expresses a desire for genuine satisfaction, but it's directed toward the mere emulation of satisfaction. She instead will receive lunch, off screen.fdrake

    An interesting transformation from 'lady' to 'crone'. Do any of the labels apply?
    Is it that the quip supplied by Crystal is only about the desire for an orgasm, or even a simulation?
    The scene is ultimately conservative, except for the lady at the end.fdrake

    Is it surprising that a woman of a certain age ( a 'crone' ?!) still has sexual drives/needs?
    Is it that a post-menopausal woman is no longer seen as attractive? Dried-up. So after her man has left through death or divorce, there are fewer available options. She would like some/more of that.

    Basically that movie wouldn't make much sense if it was set in a polycule. Would be over in about 15 minutes.fdrake

    Well, a lot of things could be over in 15 minutes but I'm not sure that a polycule would qualify.
    It would be more complex. With an interplay of male/female roles, hierarchies and jealousies...I imagine...
  • Masculinity
    Any thread on masculinity is incomplete without authoritarian jouissance.fdrake
    Of yes, masterful stroke, right there :love:
    Sally concludes her philosophical argument with Harry.
    "Yes!" x15 - con accelerando e crescendo...until release...and then...

  • Masculinity
    I thought I had heard that pokemon is what Jamaicans call proctologists.wonderer1

    :roll: "Up yer bum!"

    This is not an insult but a congenial Australian toast. But you can't go in half-assed with it.

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Up%20your%20bum%21
  • Masculinity
    I really don't know what to say...except Wow! :cool: :gasp: :monkey:
    Don't ask me to translate biosemiotically, or otherwise :wink:
    Why doncha post your most listened-to Elvis song in the Lounge? :fire:
  • Masculinity
    I tried youtube, but I couldn't find a clip that just said 'don'tcha,' pussycat doll style and I didn't want to put you through the horror of watching the whole song.universeness

    Grateful for your consideration.
    Hope you don't mind. In the pursuit of balance. 1min 53 secs of King Elvis. No gyrations included :cry:
    Elvis Presley - Doncha' Think It's Time ( take 40) with lyrics

  • Masculinity
    Its an interesting branch to what is a man, woman, human!universeness

    :up: Doncha just love it when the flying foughts of butterfly brains spark off other trains.
    Sometimes though, focus can flee oot the windae. But on TPF, it's all good...I think :chin:

    ...Especially when it considers asexual reproduction and the fairly wide existence of species that can switch between being biologically male and biologically female, as need dictates.universeness

    Ah, how different would the world be if we could transform rich, political white males currently abusing power to...well, the opposite...? How would they feel? Would there be an increase in empathy or compassion and would it hold when they switched back? Would any pain be forgotten...

    I'm sure that's not an original thought...I had Trump in mind. Unfortunately.
    Back to the question of 'masculinities and femininities'; the balance thereof...
    How feminine is Trump? Putin? What are they trying to prove...with all the chest thumping/dry humpin'?
  • Masculinity


    You missed my late edit. 'I hear it's gender-free'.
    Now, I'm wondering if that is the case.

    [...] So, if by aggregating humanity’s “intelligence” we inevitably absorb its biases, irrationalities, and stupidity, how can chatGPT avoid being sexist, as well as biased in any of the various ways in which humanity displays its remarkable capacity for thinking poorly of others who they fail to identify with, mostly to inflate its own egos and self-esteem? I asked the bot a few questions to find out:

    Q: Would gender parity boost world GDP?
    Is ChatGPT Sexist? - Forbes

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/tomaspremuzic/2023/02/14/is-chatgpt-sexist/
  • Masculinity
    Pikachu gets stabbed by a Jamaican man and then asks why?
    The Jamaican man replies he just wanted to poke a mon.
    — Amity

    Could you explain this from a purely biosemiotics viewpoint please!
    universeness

    No. But I hear ChatGPT does some neat tricks. Try there. I think it's gender-free.
  • Masculinity
    All this is relevant to the Masculinity thread because Universeness and I are engaging in typical masculine rhetorical maneuvers.BC

    Hah. A fascinating analysis. We will never know how pure the masculinity cos we can't see the serial sensations of the feminine fluttering kind. Or the apparel. Who wore the fake fur and eyelashes, and who the horned helmet? A rhetorical question.

    I blame @fdrake - the mad, male mod for increasing the momentum of 'The Fight of the Butterflies'.
    So there. Put that in your pipe and blow smoke in your eyes. Or poke them out. I don't care.

    Pikachu gets stabbed by a Jamaican man and then asks why?
    The Jamaican man replies he just wanted to poke a mon.
  • Masculinity

    Guys, guys !! C'mon :roll:

    I've been patient, I've been good
    Tried to keep my hands on the table
    It's gettin' hard this holdin' back
    You know what I mean
    I'm sure you'll understand my point of view
    We know each other mentally
    You gotta know that you're bringin' out
    The animal in me.
    — 'Physical' - Olivia Newton John

    Let me hear your body talk, body talk.
    Let's get physical, physical practical, practical.

    The question is often raised about the paucity of female philosophers. Some bemoan the lack of female voices on forums such as this. Why? So many reasons, so little time.

    Do we even know or care about the missing female contributions to 'Pragmatism'?
    Did their bodies and minds go AWOL? Is it related to sexism or the predominant male perspective? :scream:

    'Pragmatist Feminism' in Philosophy, a few excerpts:

    Pragmatist feminist philosophers have been addressing several different projects over the past decades, including:
    a) the recovery of women who were influential in the development of American pragmatism but whose work subsequently all but disappeared in the history of philosophy,
    b) a rereading of the “canon” of pragmatist philosophers, analyzing their writing in light of their philosophies and attitudes about women,
    and c) the utilization of pragmatist philosophies as a resource for contemporary feminist philosophy and activism.

    [...] Recovering these women thinkers also allows us to hear new or excluded voices in the philosophic conversation, in some cases resulting in opening up the definition of philosophy itself.
    Recognizing “philosophical techniques are means, not ends”, these women rejected “philosophizing as an intellectual game that takes purely logical analysis as its special task…” (Seigfried 1996: 37).

    Because of the gender-based discrimination against women as rational thinkers and their exclusion from the academy, history has rarely carried the names and texts of these women into our philosophy textbooks (see for example Eileen O’Neill’s 1998 essay “Disappearing Ink”)

    [...] many of the women whose work has been brought into the feminist-pragmatist discussion were college-educated activists rather than professional academic philosophers;

    Pragmatism originated in a time when our culture was in the midst of enormous change in women’s roles, yet early-century male pragmatists were often unaware of how gender biases affected knowledge and culture as well as their own ideas. Like many figures in the philosophical canon, at times they universalize the male perspective.

    [...] Currently feminists and pragmatists share an effort to radically change oppressive political and social structures, an effort that finds resonance with the early feminist-pragmatists. Jane Addams and other feminist reformers like Charlotte Perkins Gilman were continuously involved in fighting oppression, especially of women, children, and minorities.

    [...] Nancy McHugh’s (2015) The Limits of Knowledge highlights one of the most compelling aspects of feminist pragmatist work: the need to engage along and across borders.

    McHugh argues for a transactionally situated approach that aims to generate and sustain a vantage point from which to see complex, interconnected problems facing both local and global communities across social, economic, cultural, educational, and political divides. This means we begin in “the complexities of the everyday world” and engage with those who are impacted by the results.
    Pragmatist Feminism - SEP

    So, are you bored yet? :nerd: When did the :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: start, huh?
    I'm guessin'... at the word 'Feminism'? Or just not enough editing. I know, never mind :kiss:
  • Masculinity
    'Masculinity' - difficult to define and understand.

    I find it quite worrying that people attribute such things to masculinity without batting an eye. In my view, this is nothing other than misandry - man-hating
    — Tzeentch

    Or you could look it more neutrally. Aggression is often on lists of masculine traits and violence is a heightened form of aggression. None of this suggests any essential link between biological sex and violence because masculinity is a way of characterizing traits and behaviours that can apply to either sex, though they are ideologically associated with men
    Baden

    @Tzeentch has a point in that some unreflective people can take extreme views of what 'masculinity' (or even 'femininity') means. Some are ignorant, including me to a certain degree, and don't take kindly to the term 'feminism' because they don't appreciate that it is not women against men. Also, that men can be feminists too. I think @Moliere described some discomfort in this area earlier. [see Edit]

    Thanks, @Baden It's worth repeating. To take a more detached, neutral stance is quite difficult until people understand that basic point i.e. both males and females show 'masculinities and femininities'.

    My interest is in the power relationships particularly the systemic inequalities in politics and how we are, or are not, governed fairly. For everyone.

    So, I appreciated @180 Proof's definition of patriarchy:
    'a disproportionate control of national governments and multi-state/national corporations (re: resource investments, allocations, accumulations, subsidies, etc) by "wealthy" members of the male gender primarily for the benefit (i.e. maintaining "traditions" of hierarchical dominance) of "wealthy & professional" members of the male gender'
    — 180 Proof

    ***

    We tend to assume what 'masculinity' might look like in a woman but I wanted more information.
    Still to find out but in my exploration this caught my attention:

    Masculine identities are constructed through difference and association: being a man involves both not being something other than a man, and being like certain other men. Masculinity involves displaying attitudes and behaviours that signify and validate maleness, and involves being recognised in particular ways by other men and women.

    R.W Connell, in her book Masculinities (1995), argues that what is important to a meaningful analysis of gender and masculinity is the “…processes and relationships through which men and women conduct gendered lives. ‘Masculinity’, to the extent the term can be briefly defined at all, is simultaneously a place in gender relations, the practices through which men and women engage that place in gender, and the effects of these practices in bodily experience, personality and culture.

    Connell argues that it is important to consider the power relationships between different masculinities as well as their relationships with femininities in order to analyse how these relationships act to reproduce, support or challenge the distribution of power in society. She identifies five categories of masculinities, which have been criticised, and should be regarded as fluid rather than rigid:
    Gender matters - Masculinities

    There follows a brief explanation of the 5 kinds:
    1. Hegemonic
    2. Complicit
    3. Subordinate
    4. Marginalised
    5. Protest

    ***
    Edit to add:
    I call myself a feminist because I've read the feminist works and agree with them. (I don't call myself a feminist because most people have ideas about what a man calling themself a feminist is, and it doesn't correspond to why I like feminism) — Moliere

    I can relate to this and wonder why. Is it still the feeling that a woman calling herself a feminist is setting herself up to be seen as either a butch lesbian or a man-hater? Perhaps it would help to start a thread on 'Feminism' ?!
  • Masculinity
    Thanks for that explanation and G'night :up: :yawn:
  • Masculinity
    Thank you for attempting to clarify your point of view re masculinity.
    However, I find myself confused. The source of this seems to be the ambiguity or vagueness surrounding the term 'real man'. See [*]

    Starting with your:
    I am still a man. I know those patterns.
    But I'm not interested in being a real man.[*]
    — Moliere

    You say you
    grew into 'something' which doesn't fit with 'real men' [*] whatever that is.
    From what I understand you identify as a male. Transitioned from boyhood to manhood.
    You focus on social traits (rather than physical, mental or psychological factors) related to being a woman or a man. Why?

    What do you mean by 'social traits'?
    Do you mean the forming of personality or character/istics including the emotions, whether or not they are masculine/feminine? How society places expectations on how people should be if they want to fit in?
    The derogatory "Don't be a big girl's blouse!" when a male infant starts crying after a fall from a wall.
    Even though the child doesn't know the meaning, they have been trained not to cry when hurt.

    ...this kind of goes to what I'm trying to do with the distinction between boyhood/manhood and feminine/masculine -- our adult selves are differentiated from our childhood selves more than they are differentiated from the other gender. We look for differences between men and women because that's part of the gender game is to find differences to confirm that we're different but complementary to one another. But in coming to understand masculinity I'm suggesting that the coming-to-age story is more relevant than the game of gender differences. — Moliere

    You think that the difference between the feminine/masculine (or men and women) is less relevant than the transition from boyhood>manhood (or girlhood>womanhood) when it comes to understanding 'Masculinity'.
    Have I understood you correctly? I don't think it is that simple.

    Complexities arise when you consider that males (young and adult) can have a heady mix of masculinities and femininities along a spectrum of human characteristics/traits.

    This becomes even more complicated in the case of Gender Dysphoria.
    For example, transitioning from male to female during puberty. Growing from boyhood to womanhood.
    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/
    and treatment (psychological and medical):
    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/treatment/
    Puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones. Side-effects.
    In general, people wanting masculinisation usually take testosterone and people after feminisation usually take oestrogen.
    — NHS
    Then, surgery.

    This is more than 'the game of gender differences' you suggest we play.
    It is certainly relevant when exploring or understanding issues of 'masculinity'.

    To journey to manhood is itself a story, and the question of what a real man [*] is is a way of differentiating one's childhood, immature, or adolescent self from one's responsible, grown-up, and mature self.

    It's a Bildungsroman more than an opposition to the other sex, except when it gets ugly.
    — Moliere

    What do you mean by 'except when it gets ugly'?

    Edit to add: Fascinating as this topic is, it has taken up so much time/energy I'm exhausted!
    I doubt I will participate further, thanks to you and all for this discussion !
  • Masculinity
    A refreshing new direction. The site looks informative with a range of topics.
    Unfortunately, time is not on my side for the next week.
    I will be joined by a 'real man' - a professional - for some home improvements. Some men think they are good at DIY and refuse to countenance another man taking over - not to mention the cost. My argument is that a pro generally gets the job done more efficiently with a better outcome. So worth it. IMO.

    A quick first response before I go.
    So while maybe men have certain competitive advantages in society, they don't serve to promote happiness.Hanover

    Other than the well-known problems/limitations in interpreting research findings.
    Measurement, reporter bias, etc.
    How good are people at knowing what happiness is?
    If males measure success by being a winner, then what about the perception of being a 'loser'?
    Is it more about objective quantity rather than subjective quality?
    How big is... a male...ego?
  • Masculinity
    Thank you for being so patient, with me trying to get away without laying my worldview out in much detail. (So to speak.)

    I can see I would need to start a new thread to fill in the details, and while I might be up for that, it would be a sciency explanation of how I see humans as existing within a system, and most affectingly, within a system of their fellow humans and the universe at large.

    It would help motivate me to take on such a project, if I had confidence it wasn't going to feel like a waste of my time. So how interested are you?
    wonderer1

    First off, I'll keep this short and simple. Why? Limited time, energy and patience. I sense avoidance.
    Secondly, to answer my questions, there is no need to start a new thread setting out your worldview.
    That's a bit overkill.
    However, if that is something you want to do, then already therein lies the motivation.
    Whether or not it will be productive or a waste of your time - time will tell.


  • Masculinity
    Yes, sex is a powerful reward. Being deeply in love with the other is an awesome bonus on top, but not necessary to sex being rewarding for men.wonderer1

    Sex can be viewed as transactional. Giving/receiving.
    Sometimes manipulated by all parties for personal gain/cost.
    How does this translate into 'women being responsible for 'the patriarchy', whatever that is?
    How do you define it?

    I don't know what you mean by "behaviour of a concept or thing". Would a tendency for aggressive behavior be a thing?wonderer1

    You mentioned behavioural reinforcement of 'the patriarchy' - which I think is a concept.
    That is 'an idea or mental picture of a group or class of objects formed by combining all their aspects'.
    I'm interested to hear how a concept might 'behave' so that it can be changed by human action.
  • Masculinity
    You think mutual and consensual love-making has such power?

    How does anyone reinforce behaviour of a concept or thing?
    Especially when it isn't one thing but a complexity of things.

    How could it be dismantled?

    Edit to add: ...and 'evolutionary success'.wonderer1

    Why stop there? We could rule the world :strong:
  • Masculinity
    Should women therefore be considered responsible for 'the patriarchy'?wonderer1

    How would that follow?
  • Masculinity
    Do you think 'real women do whatever the fuck they want,' would offend those on this thread who consider themselves manly men?:universeness

    If it coincided with doing whatever the fuck they wanted, they would be exceedingly happy, no?
    Nothing quite like mutual love :hearts:

    However, it might upset any partners or those with vested interests in keeping the status quo.
    Some domineering/caring parents can obstruct freedom of choice/opportunity for their offspring.
    Perhaps concerned with negative influences and bad consequences. For whom?

    A casual quickie on wiki revealed:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Women_Have_Curves

    According to the Sundance Institute, the film gives a voice to young women who are struggling to love themselves and find respect in the United States.

    [...] Carmen confronts Ana about her sexual activities. Ana insists that she as a person is more than what is between her legs, and begins to call her mother out on her emotionally abusive tendencies.

    Later, at the factory, all of the women working there except Carmen grow exhausted of the heat and Carmen's critiques of their bodies and strip down to their underwear, comparing body shapes, stretch marks, and cellulite, inspiring confidence in one another's bodies. Carmen leaves the factory in a huff over her family and co-workers' lack of shame as Ana declares that they are women and this is who they are.'
    Real Women Have Curves - wiki
  • Masculinity

    I'm pretty sure I've read versions of this 'Real Men Do Whatever The Fuck They Want' story before.
    A bit of the Marion Robert Morrison about it!

    Real men don't.... judge a book by its cover. And read beyond its title.

    Real Men Don't Eat Quiche is a best-selling tongue-in-cheek book satirizing stereotypes of masculinity by the American screenwriter and humorist Bruce Feirstein, published in 1982 (ISBN 0-671-44831-5).[1]

    The title alludes to the gender associations of quiche as a "feminine" food in American culture, which causes men to avoid it [2] and has served as the basis of the title of multiple journal articles.[3][4][5] To gain free publicity the publisher sent copies of the book to radio personalities and newspaper columnists, and the witty "real men don't ..." definitions were widely quoted. Listeners and readers then bought the book for more of the definitions
    Real Men Don't Eat Quiche - wiki
  • Masculinity
    Agreed. We tend to choose any definitions which best suit our purpose. Provide support for our point of view. Or help us form it.
    We can see how some prefer their own narrative of what 'patriarchy' means to them. Sometimes based on limited knowledge and understanding. This discussion has been enlightening.
  • Masculinity
    Patriarchy:
    a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line:

    a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it: "the dominant ideology of patriarchy"
    universeness

    You probably know that there is more to 'Patriarchy' than simple definitions.
    @Baden provided this link earlier. It's worth reading:
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchy
  • Masculinity

    At last. In a nutshell. Thank you :up: :100:

    Appreciate your patience and perseverance :up: :100:
  • Deep Songs
    :cool: :sparkle: :heart:


    "Four Women" by @NinaSimoneMusic
    Recording session: "Sing The Truth", Jazz à Vienne 2009
    performed by Lisa Simone, Dianne Reeves, Lizz Wright, Angélique Kidjo: Four Women
    Featuring the Original Nina Simone Band:
    Al Shackman, guitar
    Chris White, bass
    Paul Robinson, drums
    Leopoldo Fleming, percussion
    Jeremy Berlin, piano

    [...] Each woman in the song thus represented an archetype or stereotype of her era. The first, ‘Aunt Sarah’, represented the painful ‘Mammy’ stereotype; a supposedly loyal and devoted servant, who was docile, maternal, asexual and unfeminine (M. Harris-Perry, 2011). The second, ‘Saffronia’, was a mixed-race woman, whose very existence evinced a long and sordid history of the rape of black women by white men. The third, ‘Sweet Thing’, was a young prostitute, who not only represented the demeaning ‘Jezebel’ stereotype of the hypersexualised black woman, but whose verse also provided a biting critique of the sexual and economic exploitation of black women. Her story reflected the painful and desperate situation of many economically disempowered women, who found their bodies to be the only economic asset at their disposal [...]
    Simone, enraged by the historical, social, political and economic situation of black women, was most like ‘Peaches’, the last narrator, whose raging, shouting verse brought the song to its dramatic climax. Peaches reflected the ‘angry black woman’ stereotype, but importantly, this anger was justified, righteous, and loudly, unapologetically proclaimed.
    My name is Peaches: The Story of Nina Simone - Bluestocking Oxford

    @180 Proof - 'Sweet Thing' reminded me of your story. The mysterious 'Sugar'.
    Sugar loves Cristal. :party:
    https://thephilosophyforum.com/discussion/13182/sugar-by-180-proof/p1
  • Masculinity
    I agree with this line of questioning:

    "As opposed to what?"
    — Amity

    However, I think the patterns point out that there is an oppositional notion -- the boy who couldn't become man. For many masculinities the oppositional point, to speak to apokrisis's point, isn't feminity as much as boyhood. To journey to manhood is itself a story, and the question of what a real man is is a way of differentiating one's childhood, immature, or adolescent self from one's responsible, grown-up, and mature self.

    It's a Bildungsroman more than an opposition to the other sex, except when it gets ugly.
    Moliere

    To backtrack a little. The original question as to opposition related to your:

    I am still a man. I know those patterns.
    But I'm not interested in being a real man.
    — Moliere

    Whatever that means.
    Amity

    Why would you say that you are not interested in being/becoming a 'real man' in the sense of growth you describe?

    The journey to a mature adult for all humans pretty much follows a natural/socio-cultural path with no clear demarcation. Unless you specify a legal age or perform a particular rite of passage.
    Even then, questions remain.
    What rites of passage mark the transition from adolescence to adulthood in your culture or community? These might be more traditional events, like getting your license; graduating from high school; or celebrating a quinceañera, Sweet 16, or bar or bat mitzvah. Or they could be more unconventional ones, like having the sex talk with your parents, learning how to handle a police encounter or experiencing the death of a loved one. At what age do these rites typically happen, and how do they prepare young people in your community for adulthood?Rites of passage - NY Times

    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/24/learning/what-rites-of-passage-mark-the-transition-to-adulthood-in-your-community.html
  • Masculinity
    Apologies for not commenting on this in my earlier post:
    Fukuyama's book, Identity, is a good example. He tracks this back to events like the "therapeutic turn" in the US psyche, as exhibited in the 1990 Californian task force report, Toward a State of Self Esteem.

    Here is a chunk of my notes on where Identity directly touches on this if you want to check it out. (I'm writing from my own "ecological economics" viewpoint, so some of the jargon may be unfamiliar.)
    apokrisis

    I appreciate you taking the time to provide this viewpoint. I scanned it but have yet to digest it.
    Brow furrowed and question marks appeared at the
    So scalefree growth was what the reorganisation of the industrial revolution was about. That led to class war in a century. And it led to a deeper spiritual malaise a century later. First the psychic rot showed in the new materialistic foundations of the Maslovian enterprise, then in the self-actualisation upper levels - even as the growth seemed to answer the foundational needs of society, in the short term view at least.

    For me, a squashed and unenlightening history of apparent cause and effect.
    I know about Maslow's pyramid but unsure as to the 'Maslovian enterprise' and any 'psychic rot' in its 'materialistic foundations'. What is meant by this?
  • Masculinity
    I hadn't seen this video before. It certainly made a strong impact on my brain.
    I 'saw' it when I woke through the night and thought "Plato's Cave".

    In the allegory "The Cave", Plato describes a group of people who have lived chained to the wall of a cave all their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall from objects passing in front of a fire behind them and give names to these shadows. The shadows are the prisoners' reality, but are not accurate representations of the real world [...]
    Socrates explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall are actually not the direct source of the images seen. A philosopher aims to understand and perceive the higher levels of reality. However, the other inmates of the cave do not even desire to leave their prison, for they know no better life
    Plato's Cave - wiki

    A brilliant ad - 'Think Different' - 1984.
    But does it take violence by a single female warrior to break the illusion - the projected reality?
    We are in 2023. It beggars belief that progress can be halted and new realities or rights killed off.
    Is it that we know no better? Or are we convinced by others that think they do...or lie.
  • Masculinity
    There is a ton of literature now analysing what is going on right under our collective noses.apokrisis

    Yes. Of that I have no doubt.
    The questions
    How true is this? How do you know? How helpful is it to use extreme positions of 'right' and 'left'?Amity
    related to your view of the labels 'right' and 'left' of politics.
    The right of politics has turned its aggression and frustration outwards on migrants and liberalism because the political realm is simply stalled when it comes to addressing humanity's real problems of climate change, food insecurity, etc. And likewise the left has followed its own inbuilt dialectical tendency by turning its frustrated rage inwards on the question of identity within the social collective.apokrisis

    Given that there are varying degrees of 'masculinities' and 'femininities' in so-called 'lefties' and 'righties' with different areas of concern, I don't see such generalizations as helpful.
  • Masculinity

    What differences are magnified? Who does this and for what purpose? For whose benefit?
    — Amity

    Here I'm riffing from Hanover's thread but into a separate topic to see what the differences are between the thread on defining "Woman" and a thread on masculinity. Different emphasis because of our respective beliefs, but I thought it'd be interesting to explore this notion given my various commitments.

    So -- it's for my benefit. Naturally. :D
    Moliere

    Thanks for both your general and particular replies to all discussion participants. It helps to clarify understanding and furthers exploration.
    The questions you picked from my response were not addressed to you or the motivation for your thread. Here is the full exchange:

    How are we telling the truth of the world when we allow dialectical argument to drive us to opposing extremes that are mostly about just putting small tilts one way or the other under a giant magnifying lens?
    — apokrisis

    What differences are magnified? Who does this and for what purpose? For whose benefit?

    The right of politics has turned its aggression and frustration outwards on migrants and liberalism because the political realm is simply stalled when it comes to addressing humanity's real problems of climate change, food insecurity, etc. And likewise the left has followed its own inbuilt dialectical tendency by turning its frustrated rage inwards on the question of identity within the social collective.
    — apokrisis

    How true is this? How do you know? How helpful is it to use extreme positions of 'right' and 'left'?
    Amity

    I had been thinking of the extremism/fundamentalism in politics and the need to identify and relate a hard core message. Unambiguously from an absolute and dogmatic point of view. All the better to claim or manipulate voters. So, even though most voters might have similar personal values re the economy, how money is spent - there is a strong issue on which they will not budge. Like gun control and abortion.
    In the UK, it was Brexit that took central stage and won the election for the Tories. People already convinced of their specialness, holding a hatred for the 'other', and those who were swayed by lies.

    What is considered to be the most pressing of 'humanity's real problems', see above, will not be properly addressed until the world sinks or burns. Or their paying customers hurt.
    Short-termism is the order of the day for whoever is in power. That is part of the problem.

    We can ask if concerns are related to 'masculinities' or 'femininities' - does one attitude favour environmental concerns over eternal wars? Differences are magnified for the benefit of divide and conquer. Think colonialism. Us v Them. Males v Females.

    So, as to masculinities and femininities:
    "Femininities" and "masculinities" describe gender identities (see Gender). They describe socio-cultural categories in everyday language; these terms are used differently in biology (see below). Because femininities and masculinities are gender identities, they are shaped by socio-cultural processes, not biology (and should not be essentialized). Femininities and masculinities are plural and dynamic; they change with culture and with individuals.

    Points to keep in mind.
    Gendered Innovations - Femininities and Masculinities
    Read on for more...

    https://genderedinnovations.stanford.edu/terms/femininities.html

    I'm interested in the whole spectrum of masculinity and femininity. Perhaps from female masculinity to male femininity. And anything in between...

    “Masculinity” refers to the behaviors, social roles, and relations of men within a given society as well as the meanings attributed to them. The term masculinity stresses gender, unlike male, which stresses biological sex. Thus studies of masculinities need not be confined to biological males. Masculinity studies is a feminist-inspired, interdisciplinary field that emerged in the last few decades of the 20th century as a topic of study. It deals with the diversity of identities, behaviors, and meanings that occupy the label masculine and does not assume that they are universal.Masculinity - Sociology - Oxford Bibliographies
  • Masculinity
    Ask a woman. Ask Science Fictionunenlightened

    Talking about stories.
    Interesting to consider the enduring popularity of the Regency Romance genre. For example: The Bridgerton series. For women only?
    I listened to one just t'other day - 'An Offer From a Gentleman' - by Julia Quinn.
    Set in England during the period of the British Regency (1811–1820) or early 19th century.
    From wiki:
    Many Regency romance novels include the following:
    Regency Romance - Wiki
    • References to the ton (le bon ton)
    • Depictions of social activities common during the social season such as carriage rides, morning calls, dinner parties, routs, plays, operas, assemblies, balls, etc.
    • References to, or descriptions of, athletic activities engaged in by fashionable young men of the period, including riding, driving, boxing, fencing, hunting, shooting, etc.
    • Differences of social class
    • Marriages of convenience: a marriage based on love was rarely an option for most women in the British Regency, as securing a steady and sufficient income was the first consideration for both the woman and her family.[4]
    • False engagements
    • Cyprians (sex workers), demireps (women of ill repute), mistresses and other women employed by rakehells and men from the upper classes
    • Mistaken identity, deliberate or otherwise
    • Mystery or farce elements in the plot
    • The rank system of the peerage of England plays a large role in the "marriage mart" of Regency Romance.


    How much has changed in the male power structure? Arguably, progress has been made in certain areas of empowerment. However, that can be swiftly swept aside.
    How did ex-PM Johnson get away with telling lies in Parliament on an industrial scale? Why was it not allowed to call him out as a 'liar' in Parliament? *
    Why are such individuals allowed to resign rather than be sacked? Why are dishonorable PMs allowed to produce a resignation honours list? What is that about, other than the continuation of power set in a privileged social class? The ruling classes.

    The UK lives in an archaic system of structural inequalites still. But hopefully, things will change.
    Listen to Dawn Butler:
    https://www.channel4.com/news/our-democracy-shouldnt-grind-that-slowly-dawn-butler-on-holding-boris-johnson-to-account

    * Most unacceptable is any insinuation that another member is dishonourable. So, for example, in the British House of Commons any direct reference to a member as lying is unacceptable, even if the allegation is substantively true.[1] A conventional alternative, when necessary, is to complain of a "terminological inexactitude".
  • Masculinity
    I'm tempted to keep the OP this simple. But given my expressions in various posts I obviously have some thoughts on the issue...

    So the opening question: What is a man?
    And the titular question: What is masculinity?
    Moliere

    Interesting thread and conversation, so far. Mixing the analytic and the personal as in this particular exchange:

    As a holist, I would ask what does masculinity seek to oppose itself to? What does it dichotomously "other".
    Of course, that would be the feminine. Well perhaps. We might start down this road and start to think that the masculine~feminine dichotomy isn't that massively useful after all. It kind of gets at something, but lacks strong explanatory value.
    apokrisis

    For me, it's not. I'm not a man in opposition to anything. A man is what I am.

    I can't say I treat women exactly the way I treat men, but I apply the same standards - fairness, friendliness, respect. I admit I feel more protective of women in general than I do of men. I can sometimes be a pretty intimidating person for people who don't know me. I'm high energy and aggressive verbally. Women tend to be more intimidated by me than men do, so I have to be more careful.
    T Clark

    It reminded me of a previous discussion and definitions:
    https://thephilosophyforum.com/discussion/13595/what-does-real-mean/p1
    @Banno introduced me to the perspective of:
    To understand what "real" is doing here we ask what it is to be contrasted with, and what other term might replace "not real". Use pattern is "it's not a real X, its a Y" - "it's not a real world, its... what? imagined? fake? counterfeit? Nothing seems to fit. So we can pass such an unfounded musing by. Language on holiday. — Banno

    Keeping that in mind and returning to
    What is a real man?Moliere
    we can ask:
    "As opposed to what?"
    I like this:
    How are we telling the truth of the world when we allow dialectical argument to drive us to opposing extremes that are mostly about just putting small tilts one way or the other under a giant magnifying lens?apokrisis

    What differences are magnified? Who does this and for what purpose? For whose benefit?

    The right of politics has turned its aggression and frustration outwards on migrants and liberalism because the political realm is simply stalled when it comes to addressing humanity's real problems of climate change, food insecurity, etc. And likewise the left has followed its own inbuilt dialectical tendency by turning its frustrated rage inwards on the question of identity within the social collective.apokrisis

    How true is this? How do you know? How helpful is it to use extreme positions of 'right' and 'left'?

    I am still a man. I know those patterns.
    But I'm not interested in being a real man.
    Moliere

    Whatever that means.
    I've mentioned Kate Millet a few times on these forums.Moliere

    I haven't been around, so have missed this. Also, I haven't read much about philosophy and gender issues, so thanks for this thought-provoking thread. More interested now as I begin to appreciate the political implications. I found this:

    Does masculinity need a makeover for the 21st century? Should your gender matter to who you are as a person? Ray thinks masculinity is a tool of the patriarchy and should be rejected, but Blakey counters by suggesting that there may be multiple definitions of masculinity that need not all rely on narrow and stereotypical expectations. Ray is skeptical of a solution that would introduce more stereotypes into the mix, and they maintain that people should simply focus on what they have in common with all human beings.

    The co-hosts are joined by Robin Dembroff, Professor of Philosophy at Yale University, who argues that any idea of what someone must be or ought to be on the basis of gender is constrictive.
    Ray asks how their critique differs from standard critiques of masculinity, and Robin explains that their view emphasizes the close connection between masculinity and maleness. Blakey questions the ability to separate the two concepts, which prompts Robin to define masculinity as standing in opposition to femininity. Ray then considers how men are advantaged and disadvantaged by sexism due to the intersectionality between gender, race, class, and disability.
    — "
    [emphasis added]

    https://www.philosophytalk.org/shows/what-masculinity

    How many still think in absolute terms of masculinity/femininity?
    Talking about being a 'real' woman or man...the extremes. Is that where we want to go, to be?
  • Was Socrates a martyr?

    Thanks. Decision not taken lightly. But other interests beckon. Time better spent.
    Take care :flower:
  • Was Socrates a martyr?
    I think Plato the puppet-master is well aware that there will always be those who fool themselves into believing that having read about the cave that they have thereby escaped it.

    It should be noted that there are several stages on the road to freedom from the cave. The image of a transcendent reality outside the cave remains a shadow on the cave wall. Perhaps the best we can do is to become aware of the image-makers, those who shape our opinions, and not mistake our images of the truth for the truth itself.
    Fooloso4

    I think you are right.
    Thank you :sparkle:

    It's time for me to take another very long break.
    Talk elsewhere, as usual.
  • A re-think on the permanent status of 'Banned'?
    Time to go :sparkle:

    Apparently, I've been here for 4yrs with 3968 posts.
    Other interests beckon. Thanks to TPF, members and friends for all the good times :flower:
    To @Olivier5 with 3yrs and 6168 posts - "Au revoir, mon ami!" :cool:

    Edit to add:
    I see banning more as an expression of incompatibility rather than a personal judgement,Baden

    I disagree. It is a judgement about the person and behaviour. But even if were the case...
    The arising of a sudden 'incompatibility' issue could/should be easy enough to resolve.
    Where there is a will, there is a way...
    But there is no will. Therefore there is no way.

    As in reply to @neomac:
    ↪neomac As always, we're open to suggestions, but I don't see a reason to change things at the moment.Jamal
  • A re-think on the permanent status of 'Banned'?
    [...] As for suspensions, I suppose we need to work out more systematically and transparently how they are used. Anyhow, that's how I would move towards addressing the concerns raised here.Baden

    Thank you for considering all points and questions [*] raised in this helpful discussion. Most constructive feedback.

    @Baden @Jamal- I've returned to edit:
    [*]
    For example: transparency of the 'Banning Procedure' and timing/pacing of steps within. Including the new 'Suspension' category. A sticky added to the Guidelines for the benefit of members' awareness

    Look forward to the progress on:
    We introduced the Suspended status last year, but we don't have standard criteria for its use.Jamal

    To all who contributed their time, thoughts and energy. Good talkin' with ya'.
    Take care. :hearts: :sparkle:
  • A re-think on the permanent status of 'Banned'?
    "Unclean"? Then the member would be untouchable, but there would be the hope of a cure.Ciceronianus

    !!CRASH!! - SYSTEM FAILURE - NO CAN DO - OVER AND OUT - *White Noise*

    Nice try, hunnikins :kiss:
  • A re-think on the permanent status of 'Banned'?
    I agree. I believe in second chances. People do change/acknowledge community guidelines after a ban has been employed causing them to re-evaluate their approach.Benj96

    Sorry I missed this. I'm pretty much done now but yes, there have been a few suggestions like:

    Perhaps a temporary ban followed by a probation period is more apt.Benj96

    It seems that the system is unwieldy and that there is no easy solution.
    Thanks again :sparkle:
  • A re-think on the permanent status of 'Banned'?
    My main point was that the person need not feel a stain on their character after the banning moment and any short term emotional effects of that.Bylaw

    Thanks for clarification. I am sure that in @Olivier5's case, at least, he would not see the banning as a stain on his character. His good character remains intact.
    However, others might...
  • A re-think on the permanent status of 'Banned'?
    I wouldn't ban him. He can produce interesting things. But engaging with him is pointless, but it can take pages and for some years to realize this.Bylaw

    Yes. Bans are not always what is required. An extreme and opposing viewpoint is useful to stimulate discussion. Things are brought out that wouldn't if everyone was in a cosy exchange or agreement. It can help clarify your own position by making you reflect carefully before responding. However:

    I mean, how many pages are you going to keep talking to that kind of posting?Bylaw

    It can reach the point where discussions become ego-centric attacks with knee-jerk responses. Increasing and continuing hostility over a number of threads can wear people down.
    The life being sucked out of not just a thread...

    I've spoken about this before but time to give it a rest now, I think.
    Thanks for your contribution.
    Thanks to Admin and team for doing the best they can :sparkle: