If you have an ethical issue with adultery, then it's not just a personal choice, it is something that you consider to be valid for all. If I have an ethical issue with murder, then it's not just a personal choice, it's something that I consider valid for all. — Agustino
I don't consider my personal morals universal or something to enforce on others. You shouldn't project your view of universality on me. You can disagree of course but that's neither here nor there in my moral system. More importantly though, and you don't address it, is that any set of morals are time and place dependent and therefore fluid.
Yes, you do, it's a social contract. If you want to live in society and enjoy what society provides you with, then you are effectively in a contract with the rest of society. — Agustino
Unsophisticated Rousseaun contract theory. First off, insert all arguments against Rousseau. I'm a fan of Rawls though but his contract theory is time and place dependent, non-universal and reflective.
Second, the social contract, whatever it is, is not legally enforced either - only laws are.
You do realise that adultery is (or should be), morally, ethically, and legally MUCH more serious than pretty much any act of theft. That is why adultery was punished by death in the past, just like murder. Theft wasn't punished by death in most cases for example. — Agustino
This is a silly argument. Hands were cut off for thievery as well. Times change, morals change. You're being really selective with which culture and which time you select. Your bare assertion how terrible the consequences of adultery are, is not borne out by reality. YOU think it's very important and therefore assume considerable damages. The rest of the civilised world shrugs it off. Take France for instance since forever. Or English rakes etc. during a time the death penalty for adultery existed. All this contrary to local religious mores no less.
Really?! The one who cheats, obviously. Regardless of what the other partner does, cheating is off-limits. You can divorce them, sure, but not cheat. — Agustino
Culpability, justice and fairness are not as black and white as you pretend it to be. I'm not going into how law if actually practised for centuries already. Just look up excuses, justifications and exculpations for starters. Suffice is to say that luckily, you're not a judge as the judgments you'd pass would be draconian.
If they were within expectations, you would never have started that business together, or, in the case of marriage, you would never have gotten married with that person in the first place. — Agustino
Why do you think people invented pre-nups? You seem to replace your personal notion of what marriage
should be with what's going on in the real world. I'm married and my wife and I regularly state "assuming we're still together then, it would be great...". We understand that there are plenty of reasons people might divorce or even end up committing adultery. With respect to the latter, we have an agreement that the person who commits adultery has to decide whether he/she wants to continue in the marriage or not. If they want to continue they need to hold that secret and carry that weight on their own. We think it's totally unfair to ask the other person for forgiveness and put the burden of the decision of a divorce on the other who didn't do anything wrong in the first place.
And don't get me wrong. Despite these practicalities I am a romantic and I have every intention of being with my wife until I die and so does she. We surprise each other with small hand-made gifts, special dates every month and such. We go to a therapist twice a year, not because we have problems, but because we want to avoid getting into the type of problems that cause people to divorce. And in doing that I suspect we're a lot more serious about our relationship than many people who say and think that marriage is for ever and there's that one special someone out there.
I get you feel very strongly about what marriage should be, what a relationship should look like and I think that's laudable and I wish you good luck with finding someone who shares that outlook or maintaining a relationship with that person if you're already in one. The hard part is putting what you believe into practice and making it work every day.
Just don't start about legislating this sort of stuff. Your view on sexuality is not shared by the majority and requires a lot of people to subscribe to (religious) assumptions that most of us have rejected in one way or another. It really comes across as tyranous.