I was disappointed in your response. Did you recognize frank’s quote as my response to one of your posts? You kept encouraging me to tell everyone what I thought. Then you come back with a bullshit response beating your chest like a (male) ape. “I’m not afraid,” “That’s fucked up.” Did you even read what I wrote. — T Clark
The exchange of Valentine's Day gifts is not a good example of a meaningful condition for the relationship to continue forward, and I would doubt many real relationships end for failure to remember the day.. — Hanover
Romantic relationships are complicated by deeper dependence and there is a pragmatic conditionality to them, which requires fidelity and specific contributions to continue forward. There are also firmer commitments in romantic relationships where the notion of breaking up exists in a far more real capacity than exists in non-romantic relationships, where there are less distinct beginnings and endings. — Hanover
would rather a guy buy me breakfast and tell me he is only doing it because he knows I like porridge and wants to shag me later. — TimeLine
Valentines Day reeks of globalisation. It is economics — TimeLine
There are real ways of loving someone and expressing that love and Valentine's Day is not one of them. — TimeLine
I understand that but these special conditions that make this love and bond authentic has nothing to do with society or other people. It is distinct and personal. The contributions that are required is a mutual understanding, that deeper love and inner need to have that person near them as well as trust. Love is not an enlarged egotism where one loves only because they are loved, neither is it forming attachments and feeling dependent because of a deeper loneliness and fear of being alone. — TimeLine
“When considering marriage one should ask oneself this question; 'will I be able to talk with this person into old age?' Everything else is transitory, the most time is spent in conversation.” — TimeLine
Well this is what I'm talking about. You ask an intimate question, seem to want an honest relationship, and when you get a response, walk out. It's a very small thing here, of no importance. But let's not dismiss it as mere spirituality. — unenlightened
I am suggesting that intimacy demands honesty, and honesty involves vulnerability. There might be a love that is invulnerable, that we could call spiritual, but whenever you are offered it, it is almost invariably not that, but bullshit. Normally, I offer you a little piece of my heart, trusting you that far, and fearing that you are not trust-worthy. And as you have proved the latter, I retreat, as you see, into abstraction.
It's not the fear that kills love, it's the running away. — unenlightened
I was responding to what Tiff wrote which included a comment about a violent intimate relationship that ultimately resulted in a great deal of difficulty for her. I think you are confusing the profound psychological and emotional fear one has when threatened with violence with some type of fear you have disappointing or saying something that may offend an authoritative figure, the interpersonal checks and balances that makes us conscious of our behaviour. — TimeLine
You are supposed to feel safe at home, your partner is supposed to protect you and admire you — TimeLine
We are confused, mostly wondering why all of a sudden that guy at the gym is flexing his chest muscles as he stands in front of us to try and get our attention, doing some random groin stretch where he thrusts his crotch about before getting up and walking away in slow motion, his arms protracted out like he is carrying two sheep in between them. — TimeLine
Valentine's Day has zero value other than economically. It is just an archaic exchange of objects that is largely borne from a self-interested obligation and not because there is any authenticity in the exchange. — TimeLine
This is a little perplexing. — T Clark
As others have said, it is exposing, and corruption is exposed along with other stuff.Problem is, this thread feels corrupted to me. — T Clark
Why is it perplexing? You ask a fairly personal intimate and specific question, and then are bored with the answer. Let's talk honestly - well actually let's not bother. That's not irony, it's a feeble manipulation. — unenlightened
I had a feeling you were a member of the itty bitty titty committee. — TimeLine
Women are not picky — TimeLine
We're all confused; life is complicated, but I would even say that on average men are more confused than females. Women have a more rigidly defined biological role than men, or at least, the reproductive function women perform is a limiting factor for success of the species as a whole. Evolutionarily speaking, this has caused women to converge toward forms more ideal for child birth and rearing, while men have been diverged in many other directions (fighting other males, doing physical labor, hunting, etc...). To speak metaphorically, evolution knows that women need hips of a certain ratio and a reduced penchant for violence if they are to be good child rearers, but it doesn't always know what the best strategy for males is, and so, it rolls more dice with the male form, sometimes producing 'pair-bonding' homologous mates who can both raise children well, or, heterologous 'sexually dimorphic' mates where the male is suited to an environmental niche of some kind (or many) and the female more closely to the reproductive niche.We are confused... — TimeLine
"...mostly wondering why all of a sudden that guy at the gym is flexing his chest muscles as he stands in front of us to try and get our attention, doing some random groin stretch where he thrusts his crotch about before getting up and walking away in slow motion, his arms protracted out like he is carrying two sheep in between them.
Call me peculiar, but I like a guy who makes me laugh. As in with them, and not at them." — TimeLine
She farted..." — VagabondSpectre
...but then reality crashed thru the fantasy. — ArguingWAristotleTiff
Every special day is contrived and commercialized, which is why you should resist the urge not to go along with it to some extent in the full knowledge of that element of absurdity. A fear of the absurd suggests an absurd faith in the non-absurd imho. — Baden
I've never been talking about "profound psychological and emotional fear." I'm not talking about abused women. I'm talking about more or less regular, more or less normal men and women in their everyday lives. I'm talking about feelings that affect more or less regular, more or less normal human relationships. That's what I always wanted this thread to be - As I said previously - "Men, Women, What's up with that?" — T Clark
have a woman friend who feels the same way you do. If her husband bought her flowers on Valentines Day, she would not respond favorably. I, personally, don't care about Valentines Day at all, but I know my wife does and really loves flowers. Why would I not spend half and hour and a little money to make her happy? Why is this some kind of big principle for you. Pick your battles somewhere else. — T Clark
I am quite surprised that people want to be safe in relationships - like having a pet with benefits. Or a discussion forum where we talk about the weather. For better or for worse, life on the line, climbing the mountains, is a relationship, and there is only safety in the grave. — unenlightened
I'm anxious to hear back from my muse — VagabondSpectre
The fear you are speaking of is that discomfort one feels when they need to check what they say, maybe stay silent or feel otherwise unable to be themselves and that is just personality differences, like how an extrovert has a forceful presence that could make some people feel uncomfortable, or maybe even just an indifference like I can't be stuffed wasting my energy on this person. The fear that one feels when they are threatened or coerced is completely different. — TimeLine
I know, which is why you need to reconsider how you articulate your position as the ambiguity led to misunderstanding — TimeLine
I like flowers, I love flowers. But why buy it on Valentine's day — TimeLine
What exactly did you expect to get from me? The post that I wrote against you was about this very thing where you and Agu where writing page after page of nonsense. Sorry to break your heart, but dude. :mask: — TimeLine
I do in fact put effort into the things I write. — VagabondSpectre
Mocking the peackock is easy but it takes balls to strut, and mockery is an essential part of the game. — VagabondSpectre
Ah, TimeLine, now farewell, adieu,
To God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true,
Come once again and love me.. — VagabondSpectre
It doesn't surprise me you and unenlightened are engaged. You clearly have been getting together privately to discuss ways of driving me crazy by completely ignoring what I'm saying. — T Clark
But please, I am not responsible for Timeline's coquettish improprieties, and our contacts, such as they are, have at all times been both public and well chaperoned. Young ladies are sometimes prone to flights of fancy, which should not be taken seriously, or repeated as if they are factual. — unenlightened
I don't find what we're discussing now particularly intimate, painful, or frightening. I think that's why I'm having trouble figuring out why you are upset. — T Clark
I remember a friend who was punishing her partner for not getting a Valentine gift and he spent over a week grovelling and trying to make it up to her and the entire thing just made me nauseous. It is an unwritten game they are playing with each other to prolong ignoring whatever is wrong with their relationship; there is no actual communication and they rely on these designed activities to declare something they are unable to do within the intimacy of their mutual understanding (or lack thereof). — TimeLine
I like flowers, I love flowers. But why buy it on Valentine's day or where there is some reciprocal reward for this gift exchange? Why not give me flowers some random day when you simply just want to see me happy, or a way of telling me that and not because of any underlying motive where you benefit. — TimeLine
My point is that it's all a game. You haven't transcended the game playing just because you insist upon writing your own rules. — Hanover
Indeed! But in the genre of erotic tragic comedy, the fantasy-crashing contrast reality provides is like a happy-sad-sobering bucket of water in the face. We're jolted awake from a sweet dream and left with the hilarious and bitter pill of our own human peculiarities and the taboo mystery of what might have been. A spoon-full of sexy sugar helps the ironic absurdism go down!
P.S. Do you really think it's well written? I've never been roused to write anything like this before, but its obvious satiric element aside, I do hope it struck a pleasing note. I'm anxious to hear back from my muse :D — VagabondSpectre
How universal do you want to get? If every interaction is a game, then 'game' is just another word for 'interaction'. If one can never unmask, then a mask is just another word for a face — unenlightened
No wonder you have been perplexed! — unenlightened
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