I'll pass on having kids with you. — creativesoul
You look like the crazy guy who gets all sorts of credit even though he could not get his own thoughts together. — creativesoul
Guess that happens when you have all the right friends in all the right places. — creativesoul
You've drawn a weird correlation between age and creativity... — creativesoul
Guess that happens when you have all the right friends in all the right places.
— creativesoul
I suppose so. — Wallows
You've drawn a weird correlation between age and creativity...
— creativesoul
Well, it's just that most breakthroughs in science or philosophy come at the age-range of 20-30. Am I mistaken here? — Wallows
Oh come now. Let's not commit the sin of dismissing hard work where it is due. — Wallows
Everything that you pointed out from experience seems to imply the above to some degree. — Wallows
Do you want to have kids, why or why not? — Wallows
Anyway, the real abuse was emotional neglect and the abusive tendencies of a male who did not know how to express his feelings in my view TogetherTurtle. I hope you can fill in that void. I just wallow in my depression. — Wallows
Interesting though that you didn't feel loved, and I did. — creativesoul
Cool. Don't feel sorry for me though. I'm good. More than good. I actually laughed at my score because I didn't think my life was all that bad. — creativesoul
Perhaps feeling loved holds more weight for us than the other considerations... — creativesoul
I'm just glad I'm not complaining about nothing. — TogetherTurtle
He had this weird way of twisting everything so that he was doing it for the greater good and was never wrong. He was wrong often. — TogetherTurtle
Maybe. I'm not too concerned with leaving my legacy behind in the form of children, I'd rather do it in a more important way. — TogetherTurtle
It's weird to put so many memories and events into such few words, but also sort of comforting as well. — TogetherTurtle
I don't think the weight of not having a father figure will ever just go away, but I can operate regularly (I hope) and can contribute to society so I think it's ok now. — TogetherTurtle
It would be a shame for you not to have children (adopted or otherwise) because you seem fully fit to raise them. — TogetherTurtle
If your concern is "knowing how to raise kids", I don't think anyone actually knows anyway. You'll be fine. — TogetherTurtle
Depression is another one of those self-fulfilling prophecy things. It's very hard for me to make plans with friends at all, and forget about talking to girls. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to do things you know will make you happy, even if you think you don't deserve them. It's a work in progress kinda thing, so try and stop wallowing and start exploring. That, of course, is easier said than done. — TogetherTurtle
Cool, but, what do you mean by that? I'm much more concerned about my sanity than projecting my issues and passing my defective genes to a new progeny. — Wallows
Well, I looked up your profile and your favorite philosopher is Diogenes. So, how do your Cynical philosophy with contributing to society? — Wallows
Yeah, I'm contemplating that issue as we speak. It seems to me that I have no desire to want to have children, so that's a big issue to overcome in my world. — Wallows
My psychiatrist is supremely frustrated at my lack of concern for myself and others except for my mom. — Wallows
Essentially, I like Diogenes because he is a great example of how cynicism can be used but often goes to waste because people disregard selfishness as evil. Also, his antics give me a kick, and I'm partial to a bit of mischief as well. — TogetherTurtle
If you don't want them, don't have them. Doesn't seem like a problem to me. — TogetherTurtle
I think I share that a bit. I don't really care much about my own happiness, especially when the happiness of others is at stake. I've learned to go a bit easier on myself though. It's hard to be productive when you're unhappy and being productive helps others. — TogetherTurtle
What has the study yielded that's of any good use to people who have been subjected to those sorts of lifestyles growing up(or those who've yet to have been but will be one day)? — creativesoul
stress-resistant individuals appear to be those with high sociability, a thoughtful and active coping style, and a strong perception of their ability to control their destiny. For example, when a large group of children were followed from birth until adulthood, roughly one child in ten showed an unusual capacity to withstand an adverse early environment. These children were characterized by an alert, active temperament, unusual sociability and skill in communicating with others, and a strong sense of being able to affect their own destiny, which psychologists call “internal locus of control.” Similar capacities have been found in people who show particular resistance to illness or hardiness in the face of ordinary life stresses.
During stressful events, highly resilient people are able to make use of any opportunity for purposeful action in concert with others, while ordinary people are more easily paralyzed or isolated by terror. The capacity to preserve social connection and active coping strategies, even in the face of extremity, seems to protect people to some degree against the later development of post-traumatic syndromes. For example, among survivors of a disaster at sea, the men who had managed to escape by cooperating with others showed relatively little evidence of post-traumatic stress disorder afterward. By contrast, those who had “frozen” and dissociated tended to become more symptomatic later. Highly symptomatic as well were the “Rambos,” men who had plunged into impulsive, isolated action and had not affiliated with others. — Herman
You are welcome to share personal details, and you are equally welcome to refrain from sharing. My own score is 0 which explains why I am such a lovely kind equable positive person. Lucky me, and lucky you to have my special attention. — unenlightened
wallowing is healthy. To wallow is to appreciate — Wallows
There is just too much personal information being given out by the vulnerable.
I liken it to voyeurism. — Amity
Yes, I wasn't expecting it to go this way at all. But I don't think it has got dangerously personal. One brings one's outlook to philosophy anyway, and hopefully we are something like unruly siblings that fight and squabble but have an underlying loyalty to each other. And of course you can always call on big brother if you think anyone is getting hurt. There is another thread that was extremely confessional that I had to back away from... But feel free anyway to change the tone to something a bit more formal and theoretical. — unenlightened
I find that difficult to believe. — Amity
Perhaps I am naive and innocent. I assumed most people here would be scoring 0 or 1. The first surprise to me was that folks could not seem to imagine bringing up children without any punishment. I knew there were one or two people with 'diagnoses', but apart from them... — unenlightened
Do you ever have that narcissistic urge to be remembered for something? I feel like the Cynics were essentially narcissists in their adoration of the good and ethics. There's a tinge of selfishness in living in society whilst disregarding everything it has to offer. — Wallows
Well, we aren't machines here. There's an element of me that desires to be like everyone else and have kids, whilst disregarding the selfish urge to not be selfless. — Wallows
Yeah, I feel you here. It's apathy speaking on my part. I have to deal with it in my own terms. So be it I suppose. — Wallows
I would guess if you scored nine but have no symptoms of trauma, you are probably unusual. There is talk in the wiki, and in the book of "resilience". — unenlightened
However, how appropriate is it - on a philosophy forum - for someone to ask and receive more personal information whilst *puffing on a cigarette*, asking about wanting to have kids and then suggesting that:
wallowing is healthy. To wallow is to appreciate
— Wallows
This is just wrong.
There is just too much personal information being given out by the vulnerable.
I liken it to voyeurism. — Amity
They could just ask one question, 'how happy was your childhood 0 - 10.' These questions turn out to be more predictive. But they are only trying to measure one thing, andthewse are the questions that succeed in dividing people the best statistically. Whether they are consistent or even meaningful is secondary. They might have found it statistically significant to ask if you liked squishing worms as a child. It's like when the doctor asks where it hurts, it is meaningful to him whether you point with a finger, a fist or a flat hand in terms of how localised. Litmus paper, not a ph meter.
In a bit, I want to have a look at possible therapies in the light of the general importance of childhood experience, that seems incontrovertible in all these varied problems, both mental and physical. I think it's more interesting than worrying about the questionnaire. — unenlightened
That analogy makes sense to me. Looking forward to the part about therapies. — csalisbury
Again, what' wrong with self-improvement or self-therapeutic ventures that philosophy can be? — Wallows
The first principle of recovery is the empowerment of the survivor. She must be the author and arbiter of her own recovery. Others may offer advice, support, assistance, affection, and care, but not cure. Many benevolent and well-intentioned attempts to
assist the survivor founder because this fundamental principle of empowerment is not
observed. No intervention that takes power away from the survivor can possibly foster
her recovery, no matter how much it appears to be in her immediate best interest. In the
words of an incest survivor, “Good therapists were those who really validated my
experience and helped me to control my behavior rather than trying to control me.” — Judeth Herman
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