• Sir2u
    3.5k
    Who, not that.Hanover

    Depends on the person that you are talking about I guess, a true grammar cop would have noticed the slight immediately.
  • S
    11.7k
    Who, not that.Hanover

    No, "who" or "that".
    They can be used interchangeably in this way.
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    Joke of the Day - October 20, 2017

    Aristotle and Socrates go over to Plato’s cave to drink some beer. They find him in the back watching shadows on the wall. They see elephants, lions, and heron.
    “What’re you watching?”
    “Some nature show on PBS.”
    “Give me the remote.” Socrates clicks through several channels until he sees men with swords and chariots fighting. “This looks good.”
    “Nah, all the History Channel has is reruns.” He grabs the remote back and clicks a few more times. Then there are silhouettes of young men competing in the games - running, wrestling, and throwing the javelin.”
    “Yea, look, porno.”
  • S
    11.7k
    They see elephants, lions, and heron.T Clark

    Why would the opi--

    Oh, heron. Never mind.
  • Hachem
    384
    I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I probably wouldn’t get a reaction.’

    ‘I’d tell you a joke about sodium but you probably wouldn’t get it.’
    ‘Try me,’
    ‘Na.
  • Michael
    15.6k
    Who, not that.Hanover

    "Who", not "that".

    Use/mention.
  • Srap Tasmaner
    5k
    My old favorite:

    A man posts a vague and somewhat mysterious advertisement for a job opening. Three applicants show up for interviews: a mathematician, an engineer, and a lawyer.

    The mathematician is called in first. "I can't tell you much about the position before hiring you, I'm afraid. But I'll know if you're the right man for the job by your answer to one question: what is 2 + 2?" The mathematician nods his head vigorously, muttering "2 + 2, yes, hmm." He leans back and stares at the ceiling for a while, then abruptly stands and paces around a while staring at the floor. Eventually he stops, feels around in his pockets, finds a pencil and an envelope, and begins scribbling fiercely. He sits, unfolds the envelope so he can write on the other side and scribbles some more. Eventually he stops and stares at the paper for a while, then at last, he says, "I can't tell you its value, but I can show that it exists, and it's unique."

    "Alright, that's fine. Thank you for your time. Would you please send in the next applicant on your way out." The engineer comes in, gets the same speech and the same question, what is 2 + 2? He nods vigorously, looking the man right in the eye, saying, "Yeah, tough one, good, okay." He pulls a laptop out of his bag. "This'll take a few minutes," he says, and begins typing. And indeed after just a few minutes, he says, "Okay, with only the information you've given me, I'll admit I'm hesitant to say. But the different ways I've tried to approximate this, including some really nifty Monte Carlo methods, are giving me results like 3.99982, 3.99991, 4.00038, and so on, everything clustered right around 4. It's gotta be 4."

    "Interesting, well, good. Thank you for your time. I believe there's one last applicant, if you would kindly send him in." The lawyer gets the same speech, and the question, what is 2 + 2? He looks at the man for a moment before smiling broadly, leans over to take a cigar from the box on the man's desk. He lights it, and after a few puffs gestures his approval. He leans back in his chair, putting in his feet up on the man's desk as he blows smoke rings, then at last he looks at the man and says, "What do you want it to be?"
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    Joke of the Day - October 21, 2017

    Q: How many pragmatists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: Why would it take more than one?
  • Baden
    16.3k
    How many knock knocks does it take a rabbit to cross a lightbulb?
    Gavan
    Gavan who?
    Gavangi
  • _db
    3.6k
    Pragmatism only works in theory.
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    Pragmatism only works in theory.darthbarracuda

    All philosophy only works in theory. Everything we know only works in theory. Is that a pragmatic view?
  • Hachem
    384

    reminds me of Quine
  • Baden
    16.3k


    That's it.
  • Nils Loc
    1.4k
    Enough with this Quine monkey business.

    How many lightbulbs does it take to light a bulb?

    Depends on whose bulb is being lit.

    How much friction does it take to ignite a wet piece of wood?

    Find out.
  • S
    11.7k
    Redly.
  • Baden
    16.3k


    Sapientia posts posts postily.
  • Janus
    16.3k
    He eats, shoots and leaves.Nils Loc

    Don';t you mean "eats roots shoots and leaves"?
  • Janus
    16.3k


    Since we're on the subset of cultural stereotypes:

    How many gay men does it take to change a light bulb?

    Three: two to mix martinis and one to ring the electrician.
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
    Five.
    One to hold the bulb.
    Two to pick him up and turn him.
    One to read the instruction manual.
    One to get the Guinness.
  • Michael
    15.6k
    How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    How many women does it take to change a light bulb?Michael

    None. That's one of the few things men are useful for.
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    How many women does it take to change a light bulb?Michael

    In addition to a "flag" tag, there should be a "TL flag" that goes directly to TimeLine so she can come and kick your ass.
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    Joke of the Day - October 22, 2017

    DesCartes and his buddy Frank were sitting at the bar. Frank says “you look really thirsty, Renee.” DesCartes says “I am, therefore I drink?
  • Nils Loc
    1.4k
    Kant, who happens to be in the bar for some anomalous non-reason, sees DesCartes raising a stein to his lips, runs over and grabs the stein out of DesCartes hands.

    After taking a sip Kant adjusts his waist coat and clears his throat, then announces loud enough that everyone else in the bar can hear him:

    "Act only in accordance with that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it become a universal law. I am the dying man."

    DesCartes' face turns redly redder, grabs the stein back, and says loud enough so that everyone else in the bar can hear him: "I drink to forget that I am. "

    Frank, who is not and will never be a philosopher, watches from a barstool, easily amused.
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    Frank watches from a barstool, unamused.Nils Loc

    Frank is always amused, which provides incontrovertible evidence he is not a philosopher.
  • Nils Loc
    1.4k
    Far Side Style

    After reading Schopenhauer's seminal work "The World as Will and Idea" Frank decided he would show Schopenhauer his seminal work.

    "Hi Art. This is my daughter, Sophia."
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    After reading Schopenhauer's seminal work "The World as Will and Idea" Frank decided he would show Schopenhauer his seminal work.

    "Hi Art. This is my daughter, Sophia."
    Nils Loc

    Frank knows better than to read philosophy or to introduce his daughter to philosophers. Also, her name is Ellen, not Sophia.
  • Nils Loc
    1.4k


    Ellen is Frank's first child. Sophia is the youngest. How much do you really know about Frank?
  • T Clark
    13.9k
    Ellen is Frank's first child. Sophia is the youngest. How much do you really know about Frank?Nils Loc

    Frank and I used to be pretty good friends. Then he started hanging around with Descartes in bars. You can only take so much "ge pensh donk ge schwee." Sophia is his ex-wife's daughter, They live in Sardinia.
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