I tell Baden I accidently had sex with his stupid fucking dog last night thinking it was his mom
— Hanover
Hang on, if you were banging my dog, who—or what—was I banging? :grimace: — Baden
Your problem person sounds like a particularly nasty mix of (1) and (3), and that's a lost cause. Someone who's right no matter what they do and an asshole at the same time. Their actions are in a continued state of exception and never aggregated into their persistent sense of identity. You are a thorn, they are pulling it out. You are a crawling ant, they will destroy you without a thought. — fdrake
That is not the kind of person to martyr yourself to for any apparently philosophical ideal — fdrake
Hm. I suppose this is part of blaming the victim for how they're treated. Responsibility's absolved from me because they deserve it, or are somehow asking for it. I don't actually think there's much reason for it, at least when I've done it. It's like identifying as a cat playing with the baby bird, pushing it around on the ground until its legs buckle, wings snap and it eventually bleeds out. That I could catch someone in a moment of weakness that I created legitimated feasting on the all the horror and inner torment I caused. It was certainly fun. — fdrake
All three have the capacity to be rooted in something deeply psychological or traumatic. Or perhaps they aren't. — fdrake
These are attractive men, they have muscles in places I never knew existed, popping out everywhere like a balloon full of walnuts, the type of guys who iron their shirts while they are wearing it. — TimeLine
In our culture here in Australia, these 'jocks' are not visibly nasty because society contains and controls their behaviour; they get tattoos, pretend to care about some charity to make themselves appear moral, paste "the thinker" type photos all over Instagram with some ridiculous quote (some women do this face where one of their drawn-on eyebrows are raised and puff up their lips with a slight nose flare and write some feigned story about self-love), and yet underlying all that remains this hostility, this sense of entitlement and superiority — TimeLine
There is no substance, they offer nothing that is real. I did not anticipate their reaction and was genuinely surprised because my joke quoting Dracula was hilarious, but in doing so kind of revealed who they were that has thus enabled me to write this. So, no, I did not feel bad at all and they are only really nice to me because I knew more people than they thought I did and that made them look bad (society contains and controls their behaviour). — TimeLine
You're sounding a bit jelly yourself. I didn't know that jelly came in so many flavors.Bet you got your kicks into provoking her, the type of guy who tries to make his girlfriend jelly by flirting with other women. — TimeLine
*Files nails. — TimeLine
You would not act if you felt nothing and so you are imagining weakness as a tool to act in as much as thinking there are threats and insults that are prompting the necessity to retaliate and thus an apriori right as you say; you would believe anything that would enable you to act and all this is prompted by your own emotional volatility. You intentionally seek the vulnerable because - as cowards do - you are assured control over the situation, because being vulnerable implies a lack of control and aggression is a way of rehabilitating those vulnerable sensations within.
you would believe anything that would enable you to act and all this is prompted by your own emotional volatility. You intentionally seek the vulnerable because - as cowards do - you are assured control over the situation, because being vulnerable implies a lack of control and aggression is a way of rehabilitating those vulnerable sensations within.
His aggression helped relieve his misery and strengthened his relations with his girlfriend who joined in following his slanders; he made it out like I was chasing him, and he would ask me to come into work early or lure me in other ways so that he can pretend to others that we had some secret thing going on while protecting himself by constantly talking about his girlfriend. He had a secret. He really wanted me despite having a partner and so he was at risk of being caught; he used it to his advantage and got her involved instead.
Essentially, it is all about intent and our individual motives and the culture or social conditions must provide the platform that is conducive to good behaviour as much as it is responsible for the bad. There are bad people making bad jokes, but we do not eliminate jokes to eliminate the bad. We challenge the motives. — TimeLine
I like distance. I need to observe. It takes time with me, which is why friendship is paramount. We build walls to protect ourselves and we protect ourselves because we know how terrible it can feel when our trust has been betrayed. I give hints here and there, but the question is what exactly do you want? And why from me? Do you say the same to your male counterparts or are you suggesting that I need to give you more than just the words that I write? .
I think this is a function of your stance towards the thread more than anything. It is a very unusual thread, a nauseating psychological hall of mirrors. Is it possible for you to see yourself as one of the reflections? In it rather than beyond it.
I wonder what came to be to make this thread how it is. Very strange.
Since there's so much talk about games people play, how does game theory factor into this discussion if at all? — Posty McPostface
I'm trying, but it keeps sort of slipping away — csalisbury
its been dizzying to me. It feels kind of like what I felt the first time I watched Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, though I couldn't quite say why. It's hard for me see reflections in general - I'm trying, but it keeps sort of slipping away — csalisbury
Wouldn't they know better than the script?
It's like coming home and finding your doppleganger in the bathroom. — fdrake
Poor as the birds but to give their songs away
Gathering possessions 'round to make a bright array
Dark was the night, praise God the open door
I ain't got no home in this world anymore
I ain't got no home in this world anymore
I ain't got no home in this world anymore
Farewell sorrow, praise God the open door
I ain't got no home in this world any more. — Robin Williamson
A response, though, is just a response from you to me. It's something I listen to, rather than analyse. It is not a script, but what you are saying to me -- to interpret it in the frame of the script is to forget that the script lies on the shelf, rather than who you are.
Then there is The Analyst, a character in a script but also there are analysts who commensurate with said script and select it as an operative script, thereby acting the part of analyst -- creating and analyzing a dewey decimal system of the library. The Analyst can see all, for The Analyst has perused the library and knows where to look. But, as you say, this borrows from the body of all of us librarians - which the person who plays the analyst is also one such body, but in the playing of the role can forget that there is a body in a library reading scripts and playing. — Moliere
Call the game 'analysis', or 'theorising', or 'psychology'. It's a game people play of theorising the games people play, that involves the analysis of what is a person. It requires that we can distinguish a person from a player. Sometimes I play this game, and sometimes I play another game, and the sense of being a person is that the same something plays this game and that game.
I am seeking the person who is playing the game of seeking the person, by playing the game of seeking the person who is playing the game of seeking the person, by playing the game of ... — unenlightened
Yes, but the subjectivity of playing the game of what call you not, is removed from the analysis in game theory. — Posty McPostface
Yeah, the way I used weakness in the previous posts is probably a retrojection. A better summary might be that targets are contemptible. Or perhaps they become contemptible because of the series of decisions to victimise them. At that point it makes sense to brand them with weakness, since they're victimised. That will get fed back into the bullying feedback loop, something like 'your responses are over-reactions and will be met with understandable scorn', to reference a previous comment to Hanover. I'm pretty sure that the target has to respond in a certain way to make themselves a tempting victim for continued psychological assault. This isn't to blame them, it's to say that only certain responses would be a turn on. — fdrake
As much as it's tempting to paint me black all over, a person who is constantly predatory and looking to be cruel, I'm a lot more compartmentalised than that. I imagine most people who have been bullies are compartmentalised in this way. It'd be difficult to maintain a positive self image if there weren't some extenuating circumstances or means of forgetting. Most people have done (or neglected) things that are difficult to square with their sense of identity. — fdrake
Well I'm glad going into the role of the bully was helpful. The brutality of my delivery was probably game like, a facsimile of approaching such things with integrity (both senses). I'm interested though, and want to admire my hair in the mirror, what did you find disturbing about it? — fdrake
I think most of all I was sad because I have - and still do - hold onto the hope that he would feel remorse and find the courage to be honest, which I think you showed to be impossible. It breaks my heart that he and I will never be friends. — TimeLine
Commit to dedicating as much of your day thinking about and ruminating about and writing about him as he does you. Zero. — Hanover
You still love him. Notice the period at the end of the sentence. He occupies your thoughts. Get him out of there. He doesn't love you. Commit to dedicating as much of your day thinking about and ruminating about and writing about him as he does you. Zero. — Hanover
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