Well Wosret, I'll offer you some free therapy, because, you know, why not? People like to talk about themselves and they like to hear about themselves even more. You've shared a lot here, so, based upon that information, I'm going to offer you an evaluation and advice.
You describe your father as passive, dependent, irresponsible, but very kind. You describe your mother as manipulative, domineering, and unkind. In short, your father is non-paternal and your mother non-maternal. All of this explains your own gender confusion. I'm sure there's more to it, but I'm not a real psychologist, so I could be wrong, although I never am.
You, despite your self-loathing, are a shining star operating within the underclass. You are very smart, very perceptive, very conscientious, and very moral. You work hard and your main focus is others. Your conscientiousness and hard work have created stability for others, although few (if any) of these others share in your conscientiousness or have your work ethic. As the result of their lack of shared values, they cling to you and take advantage of the resources you provide them without them offering anything in return other than their presence. You treasure their presence, even though you realize that they heavily burden you. The reason you treasure their presence is because you gain comfort from giving to others and you equate loneliness to meaninglessness. You need people you love around you, even if those others do nothing to show you that they love you back, and even if they only burden you in all sorts of ways.
The rung of society where you have found yourself is harsh and unkind. Most in the trailer park where you live do not share in your values or have your intellect, nor do most of the people you work with roofing houses. I'm not being judgmental here, and there are plenty of good folks (like yourself) who have found themselves struggling, but many are there due to inability to go anywhere else. You've convinced yourself that you're one of them. You're not.
There are two possible solutions here: (1) come to terms with your oppressive environment and those you interact with through counseling and self-exploration, or (2) get the hell out of there. #1 isn't going to happen. #2, as I noted in a prior post, is achieved through going to college, getting a better job, and moving up the socioeconomic ladder. #2 is hard. #1 impossible.
That is to say, the problem is not with the person sitting in the chair. The problem is with the chair you're sitting in. You are uncomfortable not because your body and mind are weak. You are uncomfortable because you're sitting in a broken chair. Get a new chair. You'll be amazed how much better you'll feel once you do that.